Felix is well! =)

Just as I thought Felix was the sole survivor of this episode of chicken pox in the family, I found myself wrong again.  I had dropped all three of them back at school two Mondays ago.  I was glad that they were back to play and learn, and I had some time on my own to catch up with work in the day.  Two hours later, I was asked to bring our boy back.  The reason?  Two small 'water bubbles', which had previously gone unnoticed, on Felix's neck.

So here we go again.  Felix had it mild in the first two days, but the pox invaded his thin body gradually.  It came at such great speed later that I asked if the pox were going to stop growing.  He seemed to have it bad too.  He cringed a lot and cried due to discomfort at night.  Yen and I had to take turns to go soothe him and many a time, he would end up sleeping in our bed after that.

Felix and I bonded quite well in the day.  We had a little 'system', where I would see to his bathing, getting breakfast and all for a couple of hours after I return from sending everyone off to work and school.  He would then choose to play with his toys or turn on the television to watch shows on Playhouse Disney while I marked or took a short nap.  Other days, I would insist on him doing work on the Nursery workbook that I had bought him, or his worksheets from his phonics class which he had missed.

We would have lunch after that, he played some more and read before taking his daily nap.  Most times, I would read to him from his encyclopedias.  While he napped, I continued with work before leaving to fetch his two sisters.  He played or watched shows after that.

As I had anticipated, he had a little problem leaving home for school after spending a month away.  Fortunately, I had bought him this book about 'Bugs' and I enticed him to go by asking him to bring it along to school to show it to his friends.  It had been a busy, but fulfilling month for me.

The dreaded pox

"Daddy, the play-school called.  They said Rachel is having some red dots on her back.  They fear it may be chicken pox as there is an outbreak in school currently.  Can you go bring her home?" Yen called me in the afternoon.

Gosh.  One issue after another.  On well.  It is probably inevitable.  Yen says the timing may be good as she would rather the children have this particular illness sooner, rather than later.  And all three will probably have the illness, one after another.  I agree, but have some reservations on their ages - Kayleen is only two-plus and she will not understand too much on why she should not scratch herself when she feels the itch.  That will leave a few nasty scars, I fear.

I went to their play-school a little later.  I was told that Rachel had been isolated, kept in the office once they noticed and suspected the signs and symptoms.  She did not have fever then.  While waiting at the door for all three of them, Kayleen's teacher carried her out and realised that our younger girl might have the spots too.

I brought them home.  Fearing the worst, I showed Rachel some pictures of people having chicken pox I found on the Internet and warned her against scratching herself when it itched.  I changed Kayleen out of the pyjamas and discovered some pox-like spots on her back.    Funny no one had realised the spots I found when Kayleen was being bathed.

Pox on Rachel's left shoulder...

 

...her tummy...



... and left arm



On Kayleen's back

 I went to work after informing Yen of my find.  She brought them to the doctors later and had them certified that they suffered from chicken pox.  Sigh.  Think Felix will get the illness from his sisters later.  I keep my fingers crossed that they will not suffer from the itch and pain / discomfort, and have minimal 'battle scars' on their bodies...




Spunky Kayleen on Day 1 of pox



Day 2 - not so spunky anymore

Making mistakes

"Rachel!  You are doing this wrong, again!" I was exasperated.  Why could she not write it correctly?  I had not stopped to explore the reasons why she got things wrong all this while.  I had not been encouraging.  Instead, I had admonished her over any tiny mistake, so much so that she is now lying to shirk responsibilty, to avoid being castigated.  Is this the kind of father I want to be??

A friend recently commented that he had seen my elder children with me, and from their actions / behaviour when they were with me, he could see that we have been spending time together, that we had been bonding.  I sure am glad to hear that.  But is this time "quality time", what I had been searching for since their birth??

Recently, I had been threatening her that I would buy a cane.  She wailed.  I felt bad.  I had thought that 'that' would solve problems of wrongful behaviour.  I had not seen the 'lying' part coming.  I think I had failed.

I think I can still change things.  I will have to remind myself that all of us make mistakes.  "To err is with human" - a phrase I know so well and had been telling the children whom I had been working with in the course of my job.  Can I, instead, laugh with them when they err and help my three gems learn from mistakes?  To assume responsibility and not be afriad to try?

Being the 'disciplinarian' in the family - am I taking this too seriously?  Do I have to rebuke and punish for every mistake?  Does that help them in their lives later?  Already, I lament that we do not spend enough time together.  Can I make us value the time we have together and let them look forward to my home-coming from work on nights that I work?  They deserve a childhood full of fun and laughter, amist learning!!

I am learning.  I have a lot of work to do to change myself.  This is, perhaps, being a reflective practitioner.

Our sprinter girl

Ta-ta-ta-ta...  "Whoa!  Rachel can sure run fast, can't she?"  I commented to Yen after spotting Rachel run across our room to her own.

"Oh, yes.  You should check out her face after her 'run' too!"  Yen offered.  What did Yen mean?  I have not been at home at nights enough, due to work.  Worried, I went over to our children's room.  Felix was sprawled on his bed, reading.  And Rachel?  She sat on hers, with little tears in her eyes.

It turned out that our eldest girl, is afraid of the dark in four-and-a-half.  It was funny as I had never noticed this earlier.  Yen concluded that she must have developed this 'condition' lately after being told some scary story in play-school.  Rachel did not offer anything.  She barely shook her head and cried when I asked her to walk alone in the dark to another room.

These few weeks had been trying due to a host of reasons - monetary woes from me, rushing of work for both Yen and me, and battling with illnesses in the recent week.  I spent some time to try to coax Rachel to let me in on the origin of her fear but had not got far.  The only thing I had succeeded was to get her to walk to unlit places, with Felix holding her hand.

Last night saw a change - one that I hope would not rebound back to its original state too soon.  Kayleen came crying when I was reading with Rachelk and Felix in their bedroom.  "Mickey mouse..." Kayleen offered, in between her sobs.  She was referring to her 7-inch plush toy that Uncle Eddie and Aunt Huijun had given her during their last trip to Hong Kong.  The toy had been her best friend ever since she lay her hands on it.

"Felix, where did you leave it just now?  I saw you playing with it last," I queried.  I told him to look for it and return it to Kayleen.  "I...  I'm scared...  it's too dark..."  It was Felix's turn now!  Sigh!  Looking around, I saw Rachel reading.  Surely I cannot...  Let me try.

"Rachel, can you hold di-di's hand to go look for Mickey in daddy's room?" I suggested to our elder girl.  "Huh?  What?  Felix, (are) you afraid of the dark?  There's nothing to be afraid of!  Come, let's go..."  And of she led Felix, to my room to look for the toy, and came back successfully within seconds.

What price - future?

"Is it expensive to raise a child?  I dread to think how I can do so later after I can married..." a colleague commented last night on our way home after work.  Yes, it sure is expensive!

I am more prudent with money these days, given the experience of not drawing any income in the month of November, when I had no lessons to teach.  I am recording every cent I spend this year so that I can plan my finance and save some money for a rainy day, I hope.

It sure does not help for the children to start extra phonics lessons now, but I had wanted them to gain more exposure and experience.  As a parent, of course I hope for my children to receive the best (within my means) in everything!

I know I had told myself that the children had enough of books of last them for quite a long while.  However, I could not stop myself from purchasing this set of books - which includes CDs, stories, encyclopedias and all - when I saw it on sale at IMM.  It did not take the salesperson too long to convince me that I wanted to buy the set of books.  The damage inflicted on me?  $2992 (in twenty-four monthly instalments)!



The old bookcase, and the new one!



I have been involving Yen in the reading to our children - she does the reading on nights I have to work.  The routine we have set up for the past week is simple: Bedtime for our elder children means they get to read books of their choice.  It can be the books of phonics using the books on Clifford the Big Red Dog.  We will explore two pages on the book of nouns with Rachel and Felix, then read as much as we can for a Magic English book that reinforces their learning with the CD, which they might watch in the evening  after dinner, or the next day.  Last but not least, there is a bedtime story a day.

On top of these, there is a set of encyclopedia, a set of "I Wonder Why" books and a few "Ripley's believe it or not" books, which I intend to let them use on their own gradually when they can manage them and are done with the simpler books.  There is also a set of books teaching social-emotional skills using stories.  That is a lot!  Is it worth the money?  I do hope so!

Most importantly, it forces Yen and me to sit down with them to spend some time helping them in their learning.  Essential bonding time, I feel.  =)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Rachel and Felix have gone for lesson two of their Phonics and Reading class.  They seemed to have enjoyed it.  It is a day packed with activities and little rest for my dear wife though.  Our elder children wake and get ready to go out for their classes at Jurong West Sports and Recreation Centre - Rachel for her ballet class and Felix for his art / painting class.

Yen then brings them home and out again for lunch and to meet me, before we send them for their one-and-a-half hour phonics class.  By the time we reach home, it will be about four in the afternoon and they will be dead beat.  It was like that yesterday.  The children were watching a VCD in the car on the short drive home but their eyelids were closing.  Weary from the activities, they were drifting off to sleep.

I knew that was not good as they would be awoken shortly into their nap when we reach home.  They will have much trouble trying to sleep at home.  They practise taking a 'compulsory' nap at play-school and we continue to enforce that at home on weekends.  However, the activities on Sunday meant it was not possible to squeeze nap time inbetween.

Yen was tired too and took this chance to close her eyes for a nap.  I quickly woke Rachel and Felix up, and engaged them in conversation as I drove.  "Oh, do you know what mummy and daddy work as?" I quizzed them.

"Mummy is a nurse...  and daddy is... a driver!" Rachel answered confidently.  A driver?!  What made her say that??  She later remembered that I teach.  Since Rachel spoke about wanting to be a doctor when she grows up, I asked them again what they wanted to be when they grow up.

Rachel reiterated without second thoughts of her desire to be a doctor.  She probably does not know too much about why she wants that but anyhow, I am happy with her choice.  I then took Felix to the task.  "Felix, what about you?"

"I...  I want to be..." he started answering, before trailing off...  Poor boy had not done too much  thinking about it!  "I...  I want to be..."  this repeated itself for the next couple of minutes until I parked our car and they got off the car.

I held his hand and walked to the lift in the carpark, while Rachel held her mother's.  Felix was getting impatient and exasperated by now at not being able to provide an answer, like he always does when he had problems accomplishing a certain task.  I was glad my task of keeping the two awake had been successful, and was not too concerned about an answer.

"It's okay, Felix, you are still young.  You can think about it when you grow and tell me later..." I assured him, "It is okay to be take up any job later, as long as you are a good person.  Do you want to be a good boy?" I coaxed.

"No!"  he shot back.

"Oh no, you want to be a bad boy?" I continued.

"No!" he replied.  Not satisfied with that, Felix continued, "I...  I want to be..."

I gave him a few prompts.  "Do you want to be a doctor like your sister?  Or a policeman?  A teacher?"

This time, he managed a few answers.  "...a firetruck!"  I corrected him that it was a vehicle, and he cannot be one.  "Do you mean fireman?" I checked.

"Yes, I want to be a fireman!"  he was glad he came out with an answer.  Then later, he changed his mind.  "I want to be a doctor too!"

Ha...  children.  It is probably too early for them to decide what they want to be now and really get there.  But perhaps it is good to have a goal; a target for them to set themselves?  As their father, I shall be around for as long as I can to provide them with what I can that is necessary for them to have good chances in life for a better future.

Continual education

Been caught up with all the festivities and did not have a chance to write in the past couple of weeks.  During our visiting to our relatives (not a lot now since I had severed all ties with my late father's big group of relatives since his passing away; now that's another story) - Yen's relatives and mother, I had found out that Rachel's Chinese teacher at her play-school had been teaching them some New Year greetings.  Impressive!  Now, if only all my children could converse well in the language too...

Our elder two gems have been progressing at a fair speed in reading, I guess.  Yen and I attended their play-school's curriculum session with their teachers and some parents, a class at a time, and have received some invaluable feedback from the educators.  For Rachel and Felix, both have been learning rather well in school, having no notable problems in phonics learning.  In fact, we have been told that they are always the first to respond when their classes are asked questions to do with phonics.  It seems like what I have been painstakingly doing with them is bearing a little fruit.

But before you think I am going to rest on my laurels, fret not: I am not stopping here!  I have long been telling Yen how much I hope to send the two of them for classes at the tuition agency that I work at.  Wait; I can hear you say, "Kiasu Singaporean-extraordinaire!"  I am perhaps a little guilty of that...  I am really really afriad of them not being able to read and write!  To be illiterate in our society this day is not acceptable, I feel.  It would spell the end to their education, their jobs, their chances, their future, everything!

Not only that learning is important; I want them to come in touch more types of children / peers, to know how to react in different situations, to get to know more 'significant others' (teachers, in this case)...  basically, to be more 'worldly'-wise.  It will definitely help them to experience more good things, I know.

Yen finally relented and let me bring them for a 'test' to see which 'level' they belonged to.  And I had to pick the 'best' teacher for them too!  I checked with the staff of my agency which teacher seemed to be the 'best', and the one at Yew Tee gave me a name, "Mrs Bathma".  I had to coincide my time with her lessons so that I could bring them for the assessment before the Lunar New Year break.

Thankfully, Rachel and Felix took to Mrs Bathma quite well, and in a 'closed-door' assessment, performed reasonably well for their ages.  She shared with me after the assessment that both my children performed well, but more notably, Felix was confident in his answers and seemed to know most of what was being asked.  Having said that, Mrs Bathma recommended for both of them to attend an 'intermediate' level of phonics class, which falls after my lessons at Yew Tee on Sundays, and I can pick them up after their lesson.

Yesterday, they had their first phonics lesson with Mrs Bathma.  Yen and I were worried.  The usual parental worries - Will they be able to learn?  To blend in?  Will they feel too cold/hot?  Will they have enough food?  Do we have to provide them with stationary?  The jitters....  Ha.

But like in most cases - everything is going to work out fine.  They went in empty handed, and re-emerged each with a few worksheets in hand after the lesson had ended one-and-a-half hours later.  I was proud to see Rachel had written her name (even date!) on hers.  At the bottom, Mrs Bathma wrote "Confident and clear!"  I had done a little writing practise with Rachel when she had taken ill at home recently but I had not done writing of dates.  Commendable, I thought!

I was as proud to see Felix's worksheet.  Though he had not written his name as well as his sister, I was equally happy to have heard from Mrs Bathma after the lesson that they had no problems at all in the class and Felix was a fast learner.  I was more than happy to see the word "Great!" on the worksheet.

I asked them if they had enjoyed the lesson after that.  "Yes yes yes!" went Rachel in her usual cheery mode.  Felix liked it as well.  I was also pleased that he was able to converse more with me after that, "I made Mrs Bathma angry..."

"Why?  What did you do?" I queried, concerned.

"Mrs Bathma said, 'Sit down!' but I stand up.  So she angry with me..." Felix was a little sorry now, head rested on my shoulder.

"Then you cannot be so naughty.  You have to listen to her, okay?  Say sorry to her next week," I instructed my boy tenderly.

"I said sorry already," Felix shot quickly.

"You have to be a good boy next week, okay?  Listen to the teacher," I told Felix softly.

"Okay..." his voice trailed off, his attention now elsewhere.  Oh, the boy!