"If it ain't broken, don't fix it," some people used to tell me when I meddle in things, trying to better situations. Why not constantly improve? Why not better ourselves of things around us?
A former colleague's shout-out of thanks and appreciation for his wife on their wedding anniversary today reminded me this. I have always maintained that we should show gratitude to people around us constantly. It need not be on our lips all the time. It may sound insincere, or worthless, if it goes on for too much, too long. We should thank people for helping us along our ways.
Forget the grouses you have over petty issues with your close ones. Haven't the many things they have done for you outweighed the tiny misunderstandings? Throw the grudges you have lain in your heart so deeply out of the window. Rebuild ties. Mend relationships.
Don't you wish you have not lost friends over little disagreements long ago? Disagreements that do not mean anything to you now? Isn't it a waste to lose an ally you can count on for assistance, than to have one more enemy who may leave you in the lurch when you are in dire straits? Apologise. Say thanks. Do it today.
Today? It's not a special day... Yes, you've heard me right. Today. Shower your loved ones and friends with these and you make their day special. Give them pleasant surprises. Do not wait until tomorrow. It may be too late; there may not be a tomorrow. I know I'm going to contact my younger brother now for his long overdue bout of appreciation... =)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Top 3 things you frown upon at your neighbourhood park / footpath
Or like a congregation of people blocking the entire walkway, laughing as shrilly as hyenas and louder than the aeroplanes that fly past our block on an almost daily basis. They make me sigh.
Have you ever seen things like that? Let's take a vote. I'll provide you a list of a few things. We all pick the most dreaded three from the list, lining them up in order of the most hatred to the least of the three using the 'comment' function here. Leave your name in it too. Or feel free to also add your own, giving it the next number. I'll run this vote for a week and we'll sum it up. Ready? Here it goes!
Top things that you hate to see / hear at your neighbourhood park / footpath
1. The incessant ringing from cyclists. 'Ring... ring... ring...' You hear the ringing of bells from a bicycle approaching you from behind miles away. So do the other pedestrians along the path. Everyone moves to the side of the path. But the ringing does not stop. Turns head back to show the cyclist that you're aware of his presence. The ringing goes on. And it continues even after the bicycle has passed you, all the way for as long as you can hear it... Irritating.
2. Little dog on a leash with its owner following behind, reading from a magazine. Dog stops by a tree beside the path, lifts one of its hind legs to do its business. Big business sometimes. Owner nonchalantly walks away behind its dog after that, no bag on hand to pick up after its pet. Not sure if he even had the intention to...
3. You are taking a leisurely morning walk at the neighbourhood estate. You see a group of middle-age people gathered in front of you. They talk like they are all hard of hearing. Suddenly, someone blows his nose by pressing his thumb of his right hand at the ground in front of him. No handkerchief. The woman beside him stops and clears her throat, then spits phlegm at her side. Yet another few from the group starts lighting their cigarettes.
4. You are in a rush and are walking fast. You suddenly stop. The path is blocked. A group of people are leisurely talking, taking up the whole path in front of you. Short of them holding hands. You ask for their forgiveness to let you through. It falls on deaf ears. There is no passable way as it has just rained and the grass beside the path is flooded / muddy.
5. 'Don't wash dirty linen in the public' they say. They did not mention not to dry it. "You know, the sun is brighter / stronger than in my flat..."
6. This is similar to s/no. 4. Only this time, the 'pet' is not a pet. Mother / grandmother chats in estate with neighbours. The poor child is left to play alone. Minutes later, child approaches adult as he needed to answer 'nature's call'. Adult is in the midst of an interesting discussion and does not want to leave it and bring child home. What's the next best option? Pull off boy's shorts, holds boy to the grass at the side of the path to ease himself. Surely we have better sanitary facilities here in Singapore?
7. Poom! Poom! The football is smashed onto the sides of the void deck and multi-purpose halls, leaving dirty ball prints on the once clean walls. Children giggle on the sight. Notices sign to indicate no playing of ball games where they are. Takes aim at the sign. Bull's eye! Giggles turn to laughter. People walk past them. They do not stop, not caring if the ball were to injure an innocent passer-by. Cyclists / skateboarders ignoring the signs not to cycle and skate in the park. Some young cyclists pedal at such breakneck speeds that you dread to think of the consequences if they were to 'run into' a pregnant lady.
There you have it. More? Add on as s/no. 8 and beyond. Let's run this until next Monday. Which will emerge as the most hated thing seen / heard?
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Feeling like a foreigner in...
"... I said, 'Here I am, here I am, here I am...' but why do I feel like an invisible man..." sang Joshua Kadison in his song. Okay, not exactly my sentiments. However, I do feel like a foreigner every time I step in Chinatown. Huh? 
Don't get me wrong. I am born and bred in Singapore (though there is a trace of foreign blood in me from my Malaysian born parents). But being a true blue Singaporean, you will not believe me when I tell you that I have not been to Chinatown for many times in my years. "What?" Yes, you've heard me right. I seldom set foot in our busiest settlement, especially during the Lunar New Year period.
My parents had not brought me there when I was younger. Along with my penchant for less crowded areas, Chinatown is an area I avoid like a plague. I hate getting my toes trampled on and bumping into sweaty bodies. Not to mention the fear of getting my pocket picked. Oh, that too - I like getting what I need and zipping out of the shopping areas (after paying, of course!).
I remember watching Lunar New Year celebration shows broadcasting 'live' from Chinatown and seeing the crowd in the background. I do not envy the people there one bit. All these have tallied up all my 'reasons' for not visiting Chinatown these years of my life. During this block of leave my wife had recently, I suggested gamely to 'explore' the streets there.
We found a number of antique shops - no, not the kind selling vases; the kinds that sold old games, record-players, etc. If you were looking for stuff used during the seventies or eighties, look no further. You might just find what you are looking for in shops like those in Chinatown. Looking for chinese herbs? A seldom found type of Chinese medicine? Medical halls are aplenty in Chinatown.
Need a History lesson? Go to Chinatown. There, we can find old shophouses, clothes, art forms... You should even be able to find people who have lived past the second World War if you need to conduct interviews for projects!
I left Chinatown with my wife that day, thankful that we had made that trip. There was so much colour, vibrance, so many common sights that we take for granted - all found there. I now know where my children can go if they need to work on a project on 'the early days of Singapura' later.
Don't get me wrong. I am born and bred in Singapore (though there is a trace of foreign blood in me from my Malaysian born parents). But being a true blue Singaporean, you will not believe me when I tell you that I have not been to Chinatown for many times in my years. "What?" Yes, you've heard me right. I seldom set foot in our busiest settlement, especially during the Lunar New Year period.
My parents had not brought me there when I was younger. Along with my penchant for less crowded areas, Chinatown is an area I avoid like a plague. I hate getting my toes trampled on and bumping into sweaty bodies. Not to mention the fear of getting my pocket picked. Oh, that too - I like getting what I need and zipping out of the shopping areas (after paying, of course!).
I remember watching Lunar New Year celebration shows broadcasting 'live' from Chinatown and seeing the crowd in the background. I do not envy the people there one bit. All these have tallied up all my 'reasons' for not visiting Chinatown these years of my life. During this block of leave my wife had recently, I suggested gamely to 'explore' the streets there.
I left Chinatown with my wife that day, thankful that we had made that trip. There was so much colour, vibrance, so many common sights that we take for granted - all found there. I now know where my children can go if they need to work on a project on 'the early days of Singapura' later.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
A note to all my former students
The dust has settled and the results are out. You cannot change them. They are cast in stone. Sure, in every game and every experience in life, some people will be happy with their 'victories'; some will be disappointed and /or sad with their perceived failure. Others will be lost as they have no inking on the implication the results will have on their life. Sadly, that's the case. Things are decided by us for the future, even before we know what it really means. Regret is often too little, too late later.
Regret was what I told myself not to feel when I received my PSLE results many years ago when I was a primary six student. You see, I had done well enough in school without needing to study in the past and my teachers had thought of me highly enough. You can imagine the shock I had when I received my results. Numbness was what I felt. My classmates mostly scored twenty or thirty more marks than me and went on to prestigious schools like The Chinese High School and River Valley High School.
Nobody was on hand to advise me on my choice of schools. I had no relatives near my age and I was ashamed to talk to my friends. I did not know how important the six choices I had meant. I foolishly wasted my first three choices, without doing research about cut-off points. I went to my fourth choice - Commonwealth Secondary School.
It was perhaps lucky of me for fate to deal me such a kind hand. It was not the best of places for me to study but I got to know some great people there in my time and bettered my sports skills (or I would not have become your PE teacher!). Though I wasted my first three years of my secondary school life, wallowing in self-pity and turning my attention into a host of other activities (studies was definitely not one of them), I 'woke' from my 'slumber' in the final year of my secondary school days and studied whatever I should have imprinted in my brain only in the fourth year.
The result? A lucky pass in 'O' levels and was fortunate enough to be accepted into the polytechnic. The rest, as they say, is history. The four salient points of my lesson published. Take notes now.
1. Distance is a deciding factor. Not 'THE' factor. Friends from old school? Not a factor; you'll make new ones anyway. What is important is that you go to one that you will not say, "I regret coming..." The choice now is YOURS (okay, it may be your parents'). Whatever you choose, you are going to LIVE WITH IT for years to come later. 'Regret' is a waste of time. Make use of the time you will have in the next four or five years.
2. Don't live in your shadows. Don't look back and ask yourself what it could have been. Don't waste time with these. Work for the future. Think far. Think big. What do you want to be / work as later? It is NOT very far away, you know. Work towards it. An honest job is not degrading. Nobody can look down on you but yourself.
3. Express or normal? I normally tell people, "Whatever you feel comfortable." Really? No! Go to 'normal' first, and work hard in the first year? You would have missed out the extra things being taught in 'express'. By the time you switch to 'express' in year two, you will have a steeper learning curve. Take the plunge. Go for 'express'. If you find that it's not your cup of tea later, switching to the other stream then is not going to be too late.
4. Most important lesson - STOP WASTING YOUR TIME PLAYING! STUDY! This is the ONLY time that matters - to make it to a junior college, or not. To ensure yourself a 'smoother' journey to the university later. Lose these years and you might find yourself like me - at a stage of my life lamenting how lowly paid I am as a civil servant, just because I do not have a degree. Do not rely on others. Do not turn left and right now. YOU HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS IN LIFE.
Do not ask me which secondary school you should go to now. You will not, if you have understood me well. Going to a 'good' school just gives you a better environment to pave your way to success. All the best for your future and feel free to keep in touch.
Regret was what I told myself not to feel when I received my PSLE results many years ago when I was a primary six student. You see, I had done well enough in school without needing to study in the past and my teachers had thought of me highly enough. You can imagine the shock I had when I received my results. Numbness was what I felt. My classmates mostly scored twenty or thirty more marks than me and went on to prestigious schools like The Chinese High School and River Valley High School.
Nobody was on hand to advise me on my choice of schools. I had no relatives near my age and I was ashamed to talk to my friends. I did not know how important the six choices I had meant. I foolishly wasted my first three choices, without doing research about cut-off points. I went to my fourth choice - Commonwealth Secondary School.
It was perhaps lucky of me for fate to deal me such a kind hand. It was not the best of places for me to study but I got to know some great people there in my time and bettered my sports skills (or I would not have become your PE teacher!). Though I wasted my first three years of my secondary school life, wallowing in self-pity and turning my attention into a host of other activities (studies was definitely not one of them), I 'woke' from my 'slumber' in the final year of my secondary school days and studied whatever I should have imprinted in my brain only in the fourth year.
The result? A lucky pass in 'O' levels and was fortunate enough to be accepted into the polytechnic. The rest, as they say, is history. The four salient points of my lesson published. Take notes now.
1. Distance is a deciding factor. Not 'THE' factor. Friends from old school? Not a factor; you'll make new ones anyway. What is important is that you go to one that you will not say, "I regret coming..." The choice now is YOURS (okay, it may be your parents'). Whatever you choose, you are going to LIVE WITH IT for years to come later. 'Regret' is a waste of time. Make use of the time you will have in the next four or five years.
2. Don't live in your shadows. Don't look back and ask yourself what it could have been. Don't waste time with these. Work for the future. Think far. Think big. What do you want to be / work as later? It is NOT very far away, you know. Work towards it. An honest job is not degrading. Nobody can look down on you but yourself.
3. Express or normal? I normally tell people, "Whatever you feel comfortable." Really? No! Go to 'normal' first, and work hard in the first year? You would have missed out the extra things being taught in 'express'. By the time you switch to 'express' in year two, you will have a steeper learning curve. Take the plunge. Go for 'express'. If you find that it's not your cup of tea later, switching to the other stream then is not going to be too late.
4. Most important lesson - STOP WASTING YOUR TIME PLAYING! STUDY! This is the ONLY time that matters - to make it to a junior college, or not. To ensure yourself a 'smoother' journey to the university later. Lose these years and you might find yourself like me - at a stage of my life lamenting how lowly paid I am as a civil servant, just because I do not have a degree. Do not rely on others. Do not turn left and right now. YOU HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS IN LIFE.
Do not ask me which secondary school you should go to now. You will not, if you have understood me well. Going to a 'good' school just gives you a better environment to pave your way to success. All the best for your future and feel free to keep in touch.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Stop being a busybody??
If you see someone 'disturbing' a cat in your estate, 'poking' it in the face and body with a long, thin blade of grass, causing the poor cat to jump at the grass everytime and seemingly 'fighting' against it, would you step forward to stop the person? If you see the person in the lift standing by the buttons not holding the door for young children to enter the lift, would you suggest that he does it the next time?
Well, that's just what I did recently. And they are just two examples of 'Mr. Civic-Minded' at work. I frown upon people not holding the door for the person just a step behind. Like a stern discipline master, I lambast those who fight shamelessly for seats in trains and slump straightaway into deep slumber, beating the elderly wearing a whole head of white hair. These are just examples. Of course, when put in those situations, I will be the first to offer assistance.
I engaged in an interesting discussion (it leaned precariously close into an argument) with Yen yesterday. She asked me to 'close an eye to somethings'; to 'live and let live' on things, for the sake of her and our young ones. She explained that it was in case those 'at fault' were to react poorly against me or the situation. I was dumbfounded. Do I turn a blind eye to these?
Yen asked me what I had intended to achieve by pointing out what should be done instead in those situations. Well, to put things right, hopefully, at that time. If not, then the next time such a situation occurs. How? By creating public awareness. By slamming those who do wrong and pressurizing them into doing the right thing. My wife then pointed out that by reacting to those situations, I did not seem that gracious too.
Perhaps. Perhaps by reacting in frustration in the spur of the moment, I, like a man forced to make a decision with a pistol pointed at his temple, could not evaluate what was the best course of action to take. I did not want to lose the opportunity to point out what should have been done. Sigh. Do I just accept things? That some people are just the way they are, that they 'were not taught to be as thoughtful and will have to learn some other way' - as Yen put it? Maybe that is my problem - that I am too much of a busybody?
Well, that's just what I did recently. And they are just two examples of 'Mr. Civic-Minded' at work. I frown upon people not holding the door for the person just a step behind. Like a stern discipline master, I lambast those who fight shamelessly for seats in trains and slump straightaway into deep slumber, beating the elderly wearing a whole head of white hair. These are just examples. Of course, when put in those situations, I will be the first to offer assistance.
I engaged in an interesting discussion (it leaned precariously close into an argument) with Yen yesterday. She asked me to 'close an eye to somethings'; to 'live and let live' on things, for the sake of her and our young ones. She explained that it was in case those 'at fault' were to react poorly against me or the situation. I was dumbfounded. Do I turn a blind eye to these?
Yen asked me what I had intended to achieve by pointing out what should be done instead in those situations. Well, to put things right, hopefully, at that time. If not, then the next time such a situation occurs. How? By creating public awareness. By slamming those who do wrong and pressurizing them into doing the right thing. My wife then pointed out that by reacting to those situations, I did not seem that gracious too.
Perhaps. Perhaps by reacting in frustration in the spur of the moment, I, like a man forced to make a decision with a pistol pointed at his temple, could not evaluate what was the best course of action to take. I did not want to lose the opportunity to point out what should have been done. Sigh. Do I just accept things? That some people are just the way they are, that they 'were not taught to be as thoughtful and will have to learn some other way' - as Yen put it? Maybe that is my problem - that I am too much of a busybody?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Our Christmas tree
We are not Christians. Well, at least not yet. It had never been a family tradition to have a Christmas tree up during the Christmas holidays. It was until I got married and moved into our current flat, which had a little more space and is seemingly less 'cluttered', that Yen and I purchased a Christmas tree and shopped for decorations.
I think I was saying that I wanted our children to know and 'feel' the celebrations for the festive occasions. Well, somehow, I did not put up big red decorations for the Lunar New Year. I wonder why?
Christmas these past few years have seen us set up a tree for the festival at home. Thus far, our elder princess and prince have been obedient when told not to go near the tree, not to lay their hands on it. So we decided to set it up again this year. And we were going to involve our children henceforth. How exciting it will be for them now, I thought. I was right.
I have been telling them that we were going to put up the said tree soon, but we had not found the opportune time yet. Rachel and Felix sure had their eyes glimmering with excitement when they saw the foreign-looking box containing the Christmas tree sitting in the living room after their nap on the past Sunday.
They could not wait to get started in helping out too. From the word 'go', they wrapped their little hands all over the tree. I had a hard time trying to tell them what to do whilst trying to figure it out myself too. You cannot blame me for my predicament. I see the tree for about a month annually and this is only our fourth meeting!
Our ever-enthusiastic children helped set the tree up and put the decorations on it. Blame it on their height that they were constantly decorating the same place of the tree closest to them! Yen and I had to constantly remind them to move to other places around the tree to hang their mini 'disco balls', 'snowflakes', etc. on different parts of the tree.
All these, too, while we tried to capture the precious moments of their joy on camera so that they can grow up and reminisce on these good times they had.
The result? An exuberant pair of children, proud of their good work. And a silent destroyer in the form of their young baby sister.
I think I was saying that I wanted our children to know and 'feel' the celebrations for the festive occasions. Well, somehow, I did not put up big red decorations for the Lunar New Year. I wonder why?
Christmas these past few years have seen us set up a tree for the festival at home. Thus far, our elder princess and prince have been obedient when told not to go near the tree, not to lay their hands on it. So we decided to set it up again this year. And we were going to involve our children henceforth. How exciting it will be for them now, I thought. I was right.
I have been telling them that we were going to put up the said tree soon, but we had not found the opportune time yet. Rachel and Felix sure had their eyes glimmering with excitement when they saw the foreign-looking box containing the Christmas tree sitting in the living room after their nap on the past Sunday.
They could not wait to get started in helping out too. From the word 'go', they wrapped their little hands all over the tree. I had a hard time trying to tell them what to do whilst trying to figure it out myself too. You cannot blame me for my predicament. I see the tree for about a month annually and this is only our fourth meeting!
Our ever-enthusiastic children helped set the tree up and put the decorations on it. Blame it on their height that they were constantly decorating the same place of the tree closest to them! Yen and I had to constantly remind them to move to other places around the tree to hang their mini 'disco balls', 'snowflakes', etc. on different parts of the tree.
All these, too, while we tried to capture the precious moments of their joy on camera so that they can grow up and reminisce on these good times they had.
The result? An exuberant pair of children, proud of their good work. And a silent destroyer in the form of their young baby sister.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Taking a family photograph
I have always envied my friends who have family photographs displayed at home. To me, it somehow examplifies the close bonds the family has built within itself across the years. It is with joy too, to see the progress in the members of the family - the ageing (in a nice way!), the growing of the children, the addition of members, the upgrade of status (think education - taking a photograph after receiving a university degree by each child-member).
I have never had one taken. That is why when my father passed on a few years ago, I felt a sense of void. I felt regret, something that I normally tell myself not to have in life. Regret that I had not been able to let my father lead a comfortable life before he moved on. Regret that I had not given him the opportunity to see his elder son get married and let him carry his own grandchild. Regret that he left us too little memories.
My father was a man of few words. He rarely spoke to us. Much less take photographs. The only one that he left me was this 5R one of him at work. Think he was not aware of someone taking that photograph and it was probably given to him as a souvenir of his long service with his former employer, Port of Singapore Authorities.
I respected him as my father. However, I cannot say that we were extremely close as family. We hardly did things together. Sigh. When I looked at my friends and their parents, I sometimes turn green... But I digress. I want a family photograph with my own family. For memories. For reminiscing later.
I was making use of this month-long break to tidy up my things that I had just stashed away in my study last week when I came across this receipt. To my pleasant surprise, it was one dated 14 Dec 2004, from a phtography studio. The package I bought was for photography services of some basic photograph-package. Excited, I called the company (had to make sure that it was still in operation) to check that it honoured my receipt. I then proceeded to make an appointment for a family photography shoot the following Sunday.
Fast forward. Today was the day. It was a huge challenge getting my three jewels co-operating in front of the camera. Torturous at times. I almost pulled some hair off my scalp this afternoon and got a quick hair-trim. But we managed to get through it and I came back a happy man. I will not get to hang up the pictures on my wall so soon, but it will be in time for Christmas, I think. Great! One more milestone reached in my family's journey.
I have never had one taken. That is why when my father passed on a few years ago, I felt a sense of void. I felt regret, something that I normally tell myself not to have in life. Regret that I had not been able to let my father lead a comfortable life before he moved on. Regret that I had not given him the opportunity to see his elder son get married and let him carry his own grandchild. Regret that he left us too little memories.
My father was a man of few words. He rarely spoke to us. Much less take photographs. The only one that he left me was this 5R one of him at work. Think he was not aware of someone taking that photograph and it was probably given to him as a souvenir of his long service with his former employer, Port of Singapore Authorities.
I respected him as my father. However, I cannot say that we were extremely close as family. We hardly did things together. Sigh. When I looked at my friends and their parents, I sometimes turn green... But I digress. I want a family photograph with my own family. For memories. For reminiscing later.
I was making use of this month-long break to tidy up my things that I had just stashed away in my study last week when I came across this receipt. To my pleasant surprise, it was one dated 14 Dec 2004, from a phtography studio. The package I bought was for photography services of some basic photograph-package. Excited, I called the company (had to make sure that it was still in operation) to check that it honoured my receipt. I then proceeded to make an appointment for a family photography shoot the following Sunday.
Fast forward. Today was the day. It was a huge challenge getting my three jewels co-operating in front of the camera. Torturous at times. I almost pulled some hair off my scalp this afternoon and got a quick hair-trim. But we managed to get through it and I came back a happy man. I will not get to hang up the pictures on my wall so soon, but it will be in time for Christmas, I think. Great! One more milestone reached in my family's journey.
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