Getting ready for primary schools

"You are lucky," a friend quipped, "you have two schools to choose from for your children!  So which are you intending to send your children to?"

I smiled wryly.  Is it really any good?  Sure, they are almost literally 'a stone's throw away'.  Jurong West Primary School has been standing there before I had moved in and next year will see the opening of registration for a new school, Frontier Primary School, on the other side of my block.  Lucky, you say?

If you think of the convenience - sure.  It will be hassle-free if they were to attend those schools.  But, they are...  the epitome of neighbourhood schools are...  *gasp*  (I 'hear' audible sighs of surprise)  My wife had graduated from one in Bedok, and many other friends had.  They maintain that there is nothing wrong with sending their children to one, while casting looks of disapproval on me.

I had studied in Nan Hua Primary School.  A 'SAP' school, branded one?  When I was a student there, that was hardly the case.  I got a place there based on that being my mother's alma mater, and because it was just down the street when I resided in Clementi Avenue 1, near the home of its old building in the said street.  Though I am not in a position to claim that the school produces excellent students for certain, I dare say that it would give my children a 'better chance' to succeed in life later.

You see - good teachers, though not necessarily all going to good schools, are wanted by all schools.  They could be proud that they are teaching in a school with relative prestige.  Schools on that level can easily 'get rid' of poor performers, those that do not match their school's desired outcomes.  Though I cannot vouch that all teachers in the said school are great, I can safely say that most of them should be able to produce some 'baseline' results.

Coming from the education line and being an ex-teacher in a primary school, I have witnessed how children from neighbourhood schools 'lose out', due to their parents trying their best to provide for their families.  This, inevitably compromises time with their children, bringing about many 'latch-key' children.  Children without proper guidance of a significant other.

This does not mean to say that all children who have parents who work at home / are housewifes excel in the academic area.  Some are just there to ensure that their children do not go awry in terms of behaviour.  Some can hardly 'value-add' in the area of the children's school work.  Their children may be 'milder' in terms of behaviour, but it does not guarantee excellence in studies.

Sending my trio to a school that teaches, without distractions of classmates' family problems and their errant behaviour, is just the first step in hope for bright futures for my jewels.  We have to continue to assist them in their work and emotional well-being for them to get closer to the 'complete picture' and an ideal life later.

Paint away!

It is behind the back of my mind to immerse our children in a myriad of activities within our means.  Give them as many opportunities to learn and find out where their strengths lie and their hobbies are.  Give them experiences that they will not look back later as grown-ups to ponder why they have not been given chances.

Yen had bought some painting pieces (B5-sized) for children to paint with.  Sunday, 8.30pm.  Looking at the clock, she lamented that it would have to wait another day as it was late and near bed time for our trio.  I thought for a while and asked, "But the children have such packed schedules already...  If we do not let them do it (paint) now, when are we going to let them do it?"  She probably saw some sense in my words and conceded.

So started the children's excitement.  From the unwrapping of the boxes...  the emergence of the pictures...  the sight of the paints and the holding of brushes...  I swear I saw the glimmer in their eyes that this was going to be a fun thing for them to do.

I guided Felix and Rachel (being older, I had actually gave her instructions verbally and let her discover things herself), whilst Yen gave full attention to our youngest jewel, Kayleen.  I started off being uptight about Felix not holding the paint brush correctly, not using the correct strokes when painting, creating blotches while he painted and leaving big patches of dried, uneven paint on the picture...

"Kayleen, no!" screeched Yen beside us.  It was then that I thought, "Why are we so uptight, seeking perfection in their work?  Perhaps I should let them try and have fun, learning through experiences!"  That was when I let Felix have more fun in painting, choosing only to touch up the painting in between the switches of paint for him.

Yen, on the other hand, did things her way.  She let Kayleen hold the brush and paint the bigger pieces while taking over and completing the work for the fine patches.  Rachel ended up being very frustrated with her work when she painted out of line and used a piece of tissue to 'erase' the errors.  She found out that her actions had not helped her clean things up, and almost ended up teary-eyed when she was the last to complete her painting.  She is quite a perfectionist when it came to some things!

Our children were quite glad with their work in the end and insisted on bringing their masterpieces along to play-school the following day to show their teachers.  It spurred Yen to purchase a new set of work for them, this time, pieces of a bigger dimension so that they can handle the painting of the pictures better.  Now when is the next best time for them to paint?

A struggle we have in life

"Daddy, are you going home with us?"  Felix inquired innnocently.

"No, Felix, Daddy needs to work tonight," I replied, surprised at his question.  Why did he ask?  I did not have to wait long for an answer.

"Huh...  but you haven't been spending time with us..."  the visibly disappointed boy curled up in the backseat of our family vehicle, and pouted.

I stopped to think.  Was what he said true?  Sure, I am actually at work three out of the five weekday nights.  Add on the private tuition student I have, that meant another night away on one of my two free days.  Yen has consistently helped remind me of my absence from home at night when I get requests for new assignments.

Reality check.  I left MOE a little more than a year ago so that I could spend more time with my family.  I had wanted to be a bigger part of my children's lives, to play a better role of father than I had been playing.  One year on - has things changed?  Sure, I have more time on my hands and I manage my time more flexibly.  The dough that I bring home is equal, if not more, than what I draw as a civil servant with the MOE for most months.  I lose out on the perks, including the thirteenth month bonus and medical benefits, I had used to enjoy as a teacher in school.  But I wonder - is that time spent with my family fruitfully??

On weekdays when I am not teaching in school (as I had done previously), our children are 'parked' in play-school so that we can get other things done.  I mark my students' work and get miscellaneous chores done.  I leave home to fetch them at four-thirty or so, hopefully picking Yen up together and going home.  Most times, I scoot off to work after dropping them at home.  By the time I reach home, they are in bed mostly, getting ready to bed.  I will be the one to hush them and soothe them into dreamland.

On weekend days, I work from 9am to 1-plus in the afternoon.  On Saturdays, I rush home so put them into their afternoon nap, and send them to swimming class with Yen in the late afternoon.  We will have a simple dinner together most Saturday nights.  On Sundays, I meet Yen and our children for lunch and see the elder two into phonics class.  We will proceed home for their nap and end the day with simple dinners usually, all tired out by how fast the weeks pass us by.

I find pockets of time I can to play simple games with our prince and princesses.  I take them on outtings on days that they do not have to attend school or extra programmes.  I try to capture as many memories of them while they grow up on film (more like jpeg these days).  I read with them whenever I can find time.  I spend my whole November (when I do not have lessons) with them.  I know I have not done enough, but it is much better than previously when I was 'in the system'.  I have given whatever spare time I can to my precious wife and children.  I long to do better; what choice do we have when we struggle against the day-to-day events and the high cost of living we have here?  Sigh.

Silly me - check the tyres!

My boy, Felix, has weak legs!  He can hardly get the bicycle moving!  Or so I thought...

I brought Rachel and Felix downstaris just the other day as Kayleen was still asleep.  The bicycle with training wheels that sat in a corner in their bedroom had gathered a few inches of dust and I thought it might be good for them to get moving once in a while too.

As we only bought one bicycle, the children had to take turns.  Rachel seemed to find it hard to cycle initially, but she got going gradually.  I attributed it to her being 'rusty' as she had not been cycling for sometime and was not used to it.  When Felix had his turn, I found him not being able to move the bicycle.  "Weak legs," I had thought, due to his being a year younger.  Throughout the near hour-long session in which the duo took turns on the bicycle, we had to push Felix or he would hardly be moving on it.

A couple of days later, something struck me.  I remembered how my brother, Eddie, found it difficult to turn the wheels of my car and he concluded after a week that the tyres were not fully pumped.  He was right.  Could the tyres to our children's tyres have suffered the same fate?  I checked when I returned home later and confirmed my suspicions.  Silly me!  The tyres were almost totally flat!  How could the children have been able to cycle on the bicycle?

That night, Yen and I took them down again.  They cycled with ease!  Ha.  A new experience for me - check on the tyres before cycling!

Family's first overseas trip

I have always wanted to give our three precious gems more experiences.  Learning through personal experiences, they say.  The problem is 'Vitamin M'.  It costs an arm and a leg of us to fly somewhere, I reckon.  That has kept me from opening my mouth to suggest going on a trip.  Sigh...

Somehow, a stroke of luck has seen that we could finally fulfil my wish of taking the children on a trip!  We planned a little and decided that for the children, we shall go to a country with a Disneyland.  America's too far, Japan's too expensive, Europe's both...  that left us to Hong Kong.  So it was decided.  Here we come!

It was during the trip that I understood what my friends / acquiantances have always meant when they say 'bonding takes place on the trip'.  To me, that could always happen in Singapore if we do spare time for our children.  But I saw what they meant while I was there on the first night: there were no distractions (switched off my mobile, no Internet connection too), no one else that I knew there (except them!), no need to drive them and worry about road conditions...  I was completely involved in planning for their having fun and making sure they stay safe in the meantime.  Nothing else was there to take my attention from them!

I learnt more about our three jewels, starting from the plane ride from Changi.  They were naturally excited as it was their first ever plane ride though they had to be woken in the wee hours of the morning.

We visited Disneyland on the first day after arriving the resort a little after lunchtime.  Checked into the hotel after viewing fireworks.  Children were dead beat and slept soundly.  Think Disneyland is not too big and our children were not very enthusiastic about returning on the second day.  So we ventured out to Kowloon.  Went up the fourth tallest building in the world - Hong Kong's International Commerce Centre (ICC), or simply Sky100.

Spent some time there and went for late lunch.  Some more walking and shopping for Yen.  Transferred to hotel in Kowloon that night.

Went on the guided tour on the third day.  Visited a few places - Repulse Bay, a famous jeweller's, Aberdeen Harbour, took a cable car ride on Ngong Ping 360 to Lantau Island.  Ventured to Temple Street Night Market to do a little shopping.  Kayleen was crying the whole way on the cable car trip to Lantau Island.  I held her in my arms to soothe her.  I don't think she is afraid of heights; she probably just did not like the feeling of being high up.  She was better during the return trip to land on the cable car and even laughed along to her elder siblings when they played.

What's a trip to Hong Kong without visiting Ocean Park?  That was where we went on the last day.  Throughout the trip, Rachel gave us the least problems and dared to try out most rides.  She was the only one who took photographs with every mascot we stopped for pictures.  She posed willingly everytime and was a joy to have around.

It had been time well spent.  Think our children had a lot of fun!  Yen and I did not have to attend to anything but our precious children throughout the trip and we spent, not just quantity but, quality time with the children.  It was tremendous.  I look forward to the next family trip together, money and time permitting...

Giving children experiences

How do children start standing on their feet?  How do they start doing a lot of things on their own, interacting with others?  How do we let them connect with the world, and what their teachers and friends are talking about in and outside of classrooms?

Apart from teaching them (and teaching them well!), I thought the other thing we can do for them is to equip them with lots of experiences; to let them see the many interesting things in the world.  Let them see the world through their own eyes and not ours; experiential-learning, if I may borrow the term used too much from MOE.

That is one of the reasons we enrolled them in play-school.  Let them learn to swim (hopefully) than sink once we let go of them.  At times, when we take on the role of their teacher, our children tend to learn less effectively as they would throw tantrums and such with us.

When their godfather asked if we were interested in letting the elder two watch a musical put up by their school (children under the age of three were supposedly not admitted), we jumped at the chance.  Why not?  Let's go and enjoy the performance as a family, I thought.  So on Thursday, 28 July 11, we got to Republic Polytechnic to watch Kuo Chuan Presbyterian's one-night only musical.

Rachel and Felix probably did not understand and had no premonition of what was going to happen then, but once the performance began, they were rather capticvated by it.  In between scenes, Felix was so engaged in the show that he kept asking aloud, "Where is Justin (the lead character)?"

All in all, it was a good first experience for the duo.  They were well behaved and did not throw tantrums though the performance ended a little too close to their bedtime for comfort.  We can safely plan for more experiences for them, knowing that they can 'rise to the occasion'.  A trip to the movies now beckons...

Felix is well! =)

Just as I thought Felix was the sole survivor of this episode of chicken pox in the family, I found myself wrong again.  I had dropped all three of them back at school two Mondays ago.  I was glad that they were back to play and learn, and I had some time on my own to catch up with work in the day.  Two hours later, I was asked to bring our boy back.  The reason?  Two small 'water bubbles', which had previously gone unnoticed, on Felix's neck.

So here we go again.  Felix had it mild in the first two days, but the pox invaded his thin body gradually.  It came at such great speed later that I asked if the pox were going to stop growing.  He seemed to have it bad too.  He cringed a lot and cried due to discomfort at night.  Yen and I had to take turns to go soothe him and many a time, he would end up sleeping in our bed after that.

Felix and I bonded quite well in the day.  We had a little 'system', where I would see to his bathing, getting breakfast and all for a couple of hours after I return from sending everyone off to work and school.  He would then choose to play with his toys or turn on the television to watch shows on Playhouse Disney while I marked or took a short nap.  Other days, I would insist on him doing work on the Nursery workbook that I had bought him, or his worksheets from his phonics class which he had missed.

We would have lunch after that, he played some more and read before taking his daily nap.  Most times, I would read to him from his encyclopedias.  While he napped, I continued with work before leaving to fetch his two sisters.  He played or watched shows after that.

As I had anticipated, he had a little problem leaving home for school after spending a month away.  Fortunately, I had bought him this book about 'Bugs' and I enticed him to go by asking him to bring it along to school to show it to his friends.  It had been a busy, but fulfilling month for me.