A Christmas for my children to remember

It all started when I casually checked with Rachel, "Do you want to perform in front of Daddy's friends during our Christmas party?"

Without hesitation, Rachel responded with an enthusiastic 'Yes!'.  It was a couple of months ago and I had helped by asking her violin teacher, Ms Koh, to let her practise a few songs so that she would be ready for Christmas Day.  I was hoping that these little performances will help her in terms of building up her confidence and adding up interest in learning the musical instrument.

As Felix and Kayleen did not have such 'talents', I had not considered them to be a part of the day's programme.  Preparation to make the events possible for Christmas Day commenced.  Yen and I set up the tree, and we got our darlings to decorate it.  While Rachel continued with her weekly lessons under Ms Koh's patient guidance, I invited my closest friends, thought about food and presents.  Yen joined me in the preparation whenever she could, but she was busy with work and was sometimes too tired to get things done.

About two weeks before Christmas, it took another nonchalant occasion to land Felix on board the performance bandwagon.  We did not have a lot of time to prepare an item, but since he had learnt how to recite 'Tang' dynasty poems in play-school, I seized the opportunity to get him to recite four short ones.  Seeing how enthusiastic they were to perform really brought a smile on my face.  It would be invaluable experience for them, I thought.

So the Christmas tree was put up, presents were secretly bought and wrapped, invites and reminders were sent via SMS a few times, food was forcibly bought (I bought food without Yen's agreeing to it - well, I had to kick-start the process lest we had no food for the dinner!)...

Finally, the big day came.  My a little more than a handful of best friends turned up with their partners and, some who had children, brought their young tots, streaming in a few at a time.  My brother, Eddie, and his wife, my mother, mother-in-law and brother-in-law, Jason, bolstered the number of people present.  We soon had an impressive number of people and partook in food while catching up on each others' lives.  Our children played with their new friends, Rayanne and Emma - daughters of my good friends.

After our last guests had arrived and settled, time of reckoning finally came.  Felix began with his recital of poems and his boyish charms brought smiles to our faces.  Nevermind about his inaccurate pronunciation in Mandarin!

Rachel started her medley of five short songs with a little stutter - she got a note wrong for the first song and was stuck momentarily.  However, egged on by Yen and claps from my friends, she restarted her performance and managed an impressive show until the end!

I had thought that that was the end of the performances until someone called for Kayleen to perform too.  Kayleen stood up and went to the front with a reluctant look, but much to our surprise, started moving her body while humming a tune!  She danced to the routine she had put up during her play-school's year-end performance!  It was impromptu and I guessed everyone was adequately entertained to have minded!

The children played somemore until our guests took their leave, a group at a time.  By the time the event ended, it was past their bedtime and they were tired out.  I was glad that my friends had arrived to met up, were supportive to form the crowd in the continual education of our precious gems, and our tots had a chance to make new friends and gained new experiences.

Snippet of Felix's recital and Rachel's full violin performance

A visit to the Post Office - Rachel's class

This took place a few weeks ago.  I frequently volunteer my services to our children's school-house, helping in anyway I can.  As photography is a hobby of mine, I have asked and gone to take photographs for the children at events the school-house runs.  That day was the rehearsal of Rachel's violin perfomance, but we did not want her to miss out her Kindergarten year one's field trip to a post office.  So I went along to whisk her off straight after the visit, not after taking pictures for the class.

I reached the place and waited for the children to arrive with their class' three teachers.  Along the way to the post office, the children were told to observe the community workers and shops.  This was to allow them to better understand how everyone played a part in life.

Reaching the post office, the children were split into two groups to visit the psot office due to space constraint.  The things they did were the same - they were asked to observe what they found in the post office and asked leading questions about them; bought stamps for their own letters they had prepared earlier in school; posted the letters by slotting the envelope into the mailbox.

Parents were sent an email by the teacher later to inform us about the letter and encouraged to reply to their children, posting the letter to the school-house.  Rachel's letter took quite a while to reach us!  This was how the decorated envelope and letter looked like:

This simple activity made me think again - about how we go about the simple activities in life without explaining the mechanics to our little ones!  Do we expect that they be told of how things work by the teachers?  Perhaps it was by book or film?  Or perhaps they will be somehow enlightened when they grow up?  Ha!

I had better stop taking the many things in life for granted and start to take them on more outings to see the world soon!

Poem for Felix - A Good Boy

A GOOD BOY

You enjoy spelling games with Daddy
It comes to you rather easily
You go, "E-A-S-T, east; W-E-S-T, west!"
You bowl us over with your trademark grin so cheeky

You keep the toys in the room alone when told
No complaints, no questions raised
Even though you had not been part of the play
Very proudly, you complete every task

You often surprise us pleasantly
With your excellent memory and tenacity
Usually trying very hard to please
Things have to fall in place - the way you want them to be

"You're a good boy today," Mummy praised
At this, you beam, and peering with bright innocent eyes
You quip, "No, I'm not just a good boy today,
I was a good boy yesterday, and the day before too!"

Ryan, 13 Dec 11

Dance, baby, dance!

Clap!  Clap!

Thunderous applause filled the theatre as Rachel took a bow with her fellow dancers.

No, it is not a dream.  Our girl was on stage, involved in a choreographed performance of a dance troupe for the first time.

It has been a year since she joined DancePointe and learnt baby steps to ballet.  Every Sunday, Yen would bring Rachel for ballet classes without fail, with Felix attending an Art class and Kayleen in tow.

It is the dance school’s practice to hold annual concerts / performances for all their levels at the end of the year.  It is a good idea as it gives young children a chance to perform in front of an audience, to showcase what they have learnt to eager parents.

The journey to get Rachel on stage this day has been tedious.  Not just for our elder girl, but for us - adults - too!  Nearing her performance in end November, we were asked to bring her for extra forty-five minute extra sessions on Saturday mornings with the rest of her classmates.  With myself already out of the equation (I work on weekend-day mornings most of the year), the task of bringing Rachel to lessons in Taman Jurong Community Centre fell on the shoulders of my lovely wife, or my mother when Yen is working.  Felix and Kayleen would tag along.

Now that I have no lessons in the month of November, I finally had a taste of how it felt like to actually bring Rachel for her sessions on both Saturdays and Sundays.  It was a little tiring!  Yen had to give up lazing in bed on Sunday mornings – it was not fun!  This somehow also meant that during these days / times that the children had extra programmes, plus that we could not go out as a family too.  Sigh; all for the children, I say!

We came to this final week of her full-dress rehearsal and actual day of performance at Cultural Centre at Republic Polytechnic.  I had to take Rachel to meet up with her ballet teachers alone as these happened on weekdays – I am still on my month-long break.  This gave me opportunity to be with Rachel alone, to converse with her.  Worried about her physical and emotional well-being, I spoke her about the steps of how to get some things done (*gasp*) alone, without a parent or teacher to give her almost a hundred per cent of attention most of the time.

She responded well, but I just could not help but feel apprehensive when I stood in line with her to wait for her board the bus for rehearsal.  Watching her stand in line from behind, the five-year-old whom I saw seemed to have really matured.  She seemed to know what was required of her, and sailed through the day without any problem (I would find out later).

I worried for her constantly throughout the day of her rehearsal.  We waited her return at Taman Jurong CC at 10.30pm.  Quite late for girls her age, I felt.  But their return was delayed and she did not appear until 11pm.  She was very quiet when she saw Yen and me, and that got me worried as she was not her usual bubbly self.  It was only later in the car that she started speaking to us, and when we reached home later, I finally set my mind at ease.

On the actual day of her performance, I sent her off to meet up with her teachers and left her soon.  Although the previous day had somewhat testified that she could manage on her own, I still could not put my heart to rest…

It was only until midway into Rachel’s performance that I saw her again.  She danced in the second of three acts, only for less than three minutes.  Hmmpf!  How true the loosely translated old Chinese adage: “Ten years’ preparation work for three minutes’ work on the stage”!  All that extra practice sessions attended – bore fruit to that few moments on stage for our little angel!  Still, she did not, at any time, look out of sorts during the dance she had and put in the same sort of energetic moves we had seen from her whenever she performed for audiences!  I was very proud of her that night!

The night ended late for her.  She was happy when we saw her during dismissal at the foyer, and though it was late, Rachel was still in high spirits.  We were encouraged by her performance and look forward to the next one she agreed to do – a violin recital in front of a small group of Daddy’s friends during Christmas!

"How much longer will it be"

Woke up to Felix's and Kayleen's cries in the wee hours of the morning.  Yen was already beside them when I went into their room but to no avail.  I took over to give her a rest since she needed to work today.  Both children were visibly tired and still sleepy.  Felix was easier to put back to sleep while Kayleen drifted in and out of sleep for some time still.

Kayleen continued to hug my right thigh (it was closer to her).  That seemed to help as she slowly fell asleep.  I continued to pat her while trying to remove my leg from her grasp but that proved fruitless - it caused her to stir a few times, only to return to grip my thigh tighter the next time.  While soothing Kayleen into dreamland, I suddenly had the strong urge to write a poem; to try put some events onto paper.  Finally did so this morning when I had some time alone.  So here it goes:

HOW MUCH LONGER WILL IT BE?

How much longer will it be
That you call for no one else but me?
In the deep of the night you weep
With tears streaming down your cheeks

How much longer will it be
That you cling on to my legs tightly?
When I try to turn and leave
Your arms hold me, so instinctively

How much longer will it be
You jump up and down excitedly?
"That's my Daddy!" you announce with glee
To all your friends oh so proudly

How much longer will it be
That you listen attentively?
To my reasoning and teaching
Especially so to fun stories

Deep down, I know, it won't be long
A matter of time you're on your own
But this voice from me you'll hear strong
That "Daddy is here, no matter how long"

Ryan, 29 Nov 11

Disciplining children

Parents take on roles of an 'angel' and a 'devil' when it comes to disciplining their children.  Fathers, almost always, take on the latter.  Perhaps it is stereo-typing; perhaps it is so as we are the 'stronger' of the two; perhaps mothers are just too loving and cannot to admonish or punish them.

It is no different when it comes to our family.  I am the disciplinarian to our children.  Their father is the one that gives them the 'look' that they have done something disapproving.  An advocate to the old adage 'Spare the rod and spoil the child', I harden my heart when I need to give them a spanking.

Spanking came a little quicker in the past.  When I was still working in a school, I had little rest; no thanks to my waking up at unearthly hours to mark my students' work.  That meant that I woke up at three and felt tired as early as seven or eight at night, almost straight after dinner.  When my own precious trio threw tantrums, I would get so frustrated when I tended to them and my hand shot out almost instinctively in a bid to resolve things.  I knew, deep down, that it was not right and definitely unfair to them.  That was one of the contributing factors to my leaving my job then.  But that is another story.

I have read and enlightened that scolding or hitting should not happen in anger.  That could just mean that children suffer a beating without knowing why they were subject to such treatment, or worse, that the person who dealt the beating might have been so angry that the hitting would be harder than intended, leading to an unfortunate injury.

Rather, we should decided what actions by our tots deserve such a punishment.  We should also always explain to our children where they had done wrong and what options could have been taken.  Hitting does not mean hurting the child bad.  It could be a hard enough spank on the palm.  Sure, my children cry after they had received spanks on their palms - not because it hurt them bad physically, but also because they understand that they have erred and it struck them in the heart.

So the next time should you decide to hit your children, count to ten and think if you might do something that you might regret later...

What can I do with my children?

I have always believed in spending time with our children meaningfully.  That is one of the chief reasons why I had left my previous job.  What can we, as parents, do with them then?  Tons of things!  Though our energy levels are dipping with the gradual scaling of our ages, we can pick things that require us less energy to do with our little tots.

One of those that I tried over the past few days was drawing.  Now, I am not much of an artist myself, to begin with.  But we can have fun drawing, I thought.  Our children (especially Rachel) had been drawing in play-school.  Our elder girl has been expressing herself rather well with pictures but our boy seemed to be having some trouble with pictures.

I had picked up this book on 'Cartoon drawing for kids' earlier and bought it for spending time together with our jewels.  That night, I took out a drawing block and got the elder two to sit with me.  Kayleen, unfortunately, is a little too young for such an activity and this will have to be redone with her later.

I told Rachel and Felix that we were learning how to draw.  I showed them how to imitate drawings we selected from the book and talked them through, step-by-step, to getting the drawings done.  The first one was of a hippopotamus.


Rachel is taking an example of the book's and my drawing



The duo enjoyed the whole process and we moved on to two other pictures - one of a man and another of a lion.  At the end of it, they were told how nicely they have done and how cute the pictures were.  They, too, were happy with their drawings.  Rachel said that she remembered how to draw the 'hippo' and would bring this new found knowledge to play-school the next day.  We totally enjoyed this short activity we had together.


Daddy's impression of the old man




Felix points to his impression of the same picture



Rachel's drawing of a hippopotamus and Felix's lion

Their drawings might have been much improvised from the ones in the book, but we spent time together and I gave them an idea of how drawings can go.  In my eyes, their little pictures are the most adorable ones my children had proudly produced that night.