Making mistakes

"Rachel!  You are doing this wrong, again!" I was exasperated.  Why could she not write it correctly?  I had not stopped to explore the reasons why she got things wrong all this while.  I had not been encouraging.  Instead, I had admonished her over any tiny mistake, so much so that she is now lying to shirk responsibilty, to avoid being castigated.  Is this the kind of father I want to be??

A friend recently commented that he had seen my elder children with me, and from their actions / behaviour when they were with me, he could see that we have been spending time together, that we had been bonding.  I sure am glad to hear that.  But is this time "quality time", what I had been searching for since their birth??

Recently, I had been threatening her that I would buy a cane.  She wailed.  I felt bad.  I had thought that 'that' would solve problems of wrongful behaviour.  I had not seen the 'lying' part coming.  I think I had failed.

I think I can still change things.  I will have to remind myself that all of us make mistakes.  "To err is with human" - a phrase I know so well and had been telling the children whom I had been working with in the course of my job.  Can I, instead, laugh with them when they err and help my three gems learn from mistakes?  To assume responsibility and not be afriad to try?

Being the 'disciplinarian' in the family - am I taking this too seriously?  Do I have to rebuke and punish for every mistake?  Does that help them in their lives later?  Already, I lament that we do not spend enough time together.  Can I make us value the time we have together and let them look forward to my home-coming from work on nights that I work?  They deserve a childhood full of fun and laughter, amist learning!!

I am learning.  I have a lot of work to do to change myself.  This is, perhaps, being a reflective practitioner.