The middle child syndrome - it is real, but what is it?

A colleague lamented today that she has always bee nneglected as she is the middle-child.  "Do you think it is true, since you are a parent?"  I did not agree since Felix receives as much attention from us.  Perhaps even more than Rachel, as at times, we have the impression that Rachel is much older and is more 'world-wise'.  It is probably too early for Felix to tell me if he felt that way, I reckon.

What exactly is the 'middle child syndrome'?  I have heard of it but have not paid too much attention to it since I could not imagine being a parent then, especially not to three children!  A little research into it from eHow.com said that Alfred Adler believed that the order in which a child is born into a family affected the personality traits of the child due to differing parent attitudes towards oldest, middle and youngest children. Birth order of a child may also affect the child well into adulthood.

In short, they feel that they do not get as much attention from parents about them and their accomplishments; their elder siblings may have 'been there, done that', while the youngest child is normally given more attention due to the perceived 'they cannot handle it as they are younger' thinking from parents.

Possible problems that these bring about include low self-esteem, a rebellious nature, resentment, sibling rivalry, etc.  He / She may feel distant to people in relationships and 'left out' at home.  Read ways to prevent these from happening - try not taking sides, being fair, not to compare them, be patient to them, etc.

I wonder if Felix will ever feel that way?  As parents, Yen and I have to be very much aware of ourselves and what we do with our children, so that they will not feel any difference in our treatment of them among each other.  I hope we can really follow what is 'prescribed' in research findings!

Last week of classes for the tuition centre

This week is the last week of tuition classes for the tuition centre that I work in for all P1 to P5 classes.  The P6 students had their classes stopped at the end of last month as PSLE took place early this month.  The other students would either have taken their examinations prior to this week or will be taking it in coming week.

It is probably brief respite for the students who have attended our lessons religiously from December last year to now.  The coming month is a break for them before they rejoin the 'ordeal' for the coming year for a new level.  What does it mean for me?  A month's holidays (Yes!) that is not paid (Boo hoo!).

A quick review for my rookie half year as a full-time tuition teacher: I have not been bogged down with much administrative work I used to face as a teacher in a school!  I need not have to deviate from my lessons to incorporate teaching of National Education values.  Though I do not mind teaching students values in life (I still grasp 'teachable moments' to drive some messages home), there is no emphasis on that in the centre and thus, I do not 'steal time' from what I am supposed to do (that is to teach!) to attend to much of the nitty-gritty stuff.

No concerts to take students away from lessons, no fire drill, no recess, no duties, no departmental work, no celebration of days and festivals; just plain teaching to the best I can!  =)

I cannot say I have done my utmost and imparted all that they should know to them, like a skilled pugilist to his disciple.  I have tried hard to let them see the relevance of some grammatical rules when applied to the different situations they have been put in.  I have been passionate about the teaching of writing and managed to ignite the flame of writing in more than a handful of my students.  I need to sit down and think harder how I can pull the rest on board and write 'good stories'.

In my three years teaching in MOE, I have received a handful of compliments from my customers - parents.  I have hardly received any from my principal, and a non-commital "We can see you plan you lessons and are trying hard for your lessons," from my superior.  Within a few months of my joining the centre, I have quite a few parents commending me to my boss and his wife about how their children have improved after attending lessons at the centre, about how they enjoy my lessons and their reluctance to change their timeslots / classes because of the teacher.  This felt good!

October started the process of parents deciding if they wanted to renew their children's continual education with the centre.  I have quite a few parents approaching me to check if I was going to be teaching the centre the next year and if I was going to teach their child's class in the same timeslot the following year.  They told me that it was be an 'important consideration' to whether their child was going to carry on learning at the centre in 2011.  A shining testimonial?  If I was really that popular or that good, why did my former employers in MOE see that??  I wonder.

Being unconvinced, I checked with my colleagues at the counter.  I probed if it was true that parents complained about teachers at the centre.  I guess they are entitled to do so, since they have paid for their child's education with the centre, and it is with the hope that their child would improve.  I was told that the centre does receive its fair share of complains, but there weren't any for me (thus far, fingers remained crossed!).  One of my colleagues asked what it was that I do with my classes that led to their enjoying my lessons and perhaps, some kind of 'popularity'.  My boss and her wife like the way I readily communicated with the children's parents and my 'good rapport' with both.  Smile.

I think I have put in real effort, and in doing so, reaped some benefits.  I am lucky that the centre and most of its customers value me.  I know I have to do more, have to continue being serious in my work and not rest on my laurels.  For all these good work can easily be forgotten...  'Gambate', Ryan!

Doing something to remember people?

I recall an article I read near National Day on The Straits Times that there was this youth who went about his block of flats in Tampines trying to take every family's photograph as some kind of memory and getting to know each other well.  Not a bad idea, I thought.  Perhaps I could do the same for my block of flats?

The teenager explained in the article that though he stayed in his block of flats, he hardly knew the other neighbours too much and what they did.  That idea was one he came up with to try to help people get to know one another.  Hmmm... perhaps I can do the same for my block of flats?

Before I can embark on this 'crazy spark' and project, a few questions came to mind.  Why exactly do I want to do it?  Where would I display the 'end product'?  Though it could be well-received, there is the possibility that response is on the other end of the scale.  So what then?  These questions were enough to stop me from picking up my camera and go around knocking on doors.  <<Grin.>>

I am quite sure if I carried this idea to my weekly Meet-The-Residents session at the RC one of the Tuesday nights, I should excite enough people to let me try it.  They might even be willing to sponsor this project of mine.  However, I need answers to the questions I raised to myself first...
I need to be cautious in things that I do.  I am not a child anymore.  Many things that I do rashly impact people, especially my loved ones.  I have to consider things thoroughly before I commit to doing them.  I have to fight the urge to begin things that seem interesting to me, as they may require loads of time and commitment that I may not be able to give in the long run.  Think ahead, look farther, thrash things out with my wife if I need to.  Age brings maturity, love brings responsibilty.  Lessons that can be learnt in life.

I'll shelf the project until I find better reason to go ahead.  Until then, anyone needs a photographer to take pictures for your friends or company for memory's sake??

Primary school memories??

"You have been tagged in a photo," announced Facebook.  Curious, I clicked on the link and was surprised.  I'm not sure if I should say I was pleasantly surprised, or it was a rude shock to me.  It is a photograph of my kindergarten or lower primary days in Nan Hua Primary School!  It was posted by a lady who announced that it was memories of one of her classes.  She was my form teacher?  Miss Ortega.  I cannot really remember her...

"I can hardly remember too many things that took place then, not to mention people," I remarked to Yen, who managed to point me out from the photograph at the first glance.  I can only recognise one of the other people in the photograph.  We were not really close too.  Other than the fact that Kai Jie and Jun Hui were the only other people from Nan Hua to go on to Commonwealth Secondary School, I cannot recall too much.  Wait, I think my 'close friends' were Zibin and Cindy then.  There were people whom I had reconnected in Facebook with, such as Michelle, Minghui and Olivia.  I had my first crush in my early-pubescent days to this girl in the next primary six class.  Names like Li Junming, Ye Weiliang and Bai Xiangwei sping to mind too.  Oh!  My brother, Eddie, and neighbours - Sharon, Wenfeng, Bingkun - were from the same school too, I think...  Opps.  Seems like there is actually more than I thought I could remember!

What memories does your primary school bring to you?  I cannot say mine are all pleasant.  I do acknowledge the fact that it brought me a few nice people, whom I am in contact with today.  The best thing it did for me must have been inculcating some stauch values and principles in life which I hold so dear, even today.  I thank the school for letting Ms Ho, my form teacher in P5 and P6, cross my path in life.  She had been a big influence in this 'piece of paper', written so many ways of living life on it.

I used to teach in a primary school.  The setting for schools back then and now is so different.  As a primary school student then, I think I knew so little.  We were just bothered with accomplishing our work and play at home.  My parents hardly brought me out to a lot of places, I had little experiences elsewhere and did not have the Internet back then.  I am not sure if I envy the children these days, that they have so many things to distract them, or if I envy them.

I realised how much my teacher had impacted my life.  If not for Miss Ho's belief for everything being done prim and proper, in upholding the values that we hold, I could have turned out to be a much different person that I am today.  Is it good, or bad?  I wonder if I had done the same for any student, in any way at all in my short three years in school?  I wonder if I'll impact anyone as a teacher in a tuition agency now?

Many questions, no answer.  What about you?  Do you have any memory of your primary school life?

Night milk to help us go to sleep?

I heard this from the Flying Dutchman on the morning express.  He reported that a German company has said that they found that cows milked at night 'contains high levels of "sleep hormone" melatonin'.  This is supposed to be more effective than milk from the udder of cows in the day to put people to sleep.

Thought it sounded interesting and went to the Internet to make a search.  Found the details from a page off the Internet-newspaper edition from a British tabloid The Sun.  It went on to explain that it was found that people who drank the milk were tested to have 'improved sleep patterns'.  I wonder what this meant.  Does it mean it puts people to sleep more easily?  Or if that meant people could sleep for longer periods?

It would somehow help most who have trouble sleeping, as many friends like Nelson sometimes says on Facebook that he cannot go to sleep.  It gives people who drink milk a 'warm' feeling, I guess?  Don't think it will affect me, as I 'sleep like a log' when I do fall asleep, and seldom find trouble dozing off once I lie in bed!

Bicycles - where do they belong?

I had learnt how to cycle when I was young.  Gosh, I cannot really remember when that happened.  Neither can I remember what bicycles I used to ride.  How many times did I fall?  Can’t remember.  The most recent time when I laid my hands on the two-wheeled mode of transport was when my elder children wanted to cycle at the void deck.  Okay, they were actually four-wheelers.  But I do see a lot of them around in Jurong...

Ring...  Ring, Ring!  Yet another impatient cyclist rang his bell incessantly at me and Felix, telling us to give way to him on the footpath we were walking on.  Wait!  It's a 'footpath'!  So whose right of way is it?  They definitely do not belong on the tarred-roads, where cars sometimes zoom around at breakneck-speeds.  Where are they supposed to go?

Let's examine what they were made for.  They were invented in 1817 by German Baron Karl van Drais as the first human means of transport.  There are many uses for the bicycle, from leisure to work (think delivery), from recreation to sport, etc.   There are different types of them too.  The tricycles, normal bicycles, mountain bikes, racers, etc.  Not forgetting the unicycles, the single-wheeled ones!

I read with interest the discussions on the sharing of path by pedestrians and bicycles, and the later idea of a separate lane for bicycles being mooted.  It was tried out and well-received in Tampines earlier, and a few town centres are slated to have the paths built too.

Here in Jurong, there have not been any ‘bicycle paths’, so most of the time, they ‘share’ footpaths with pedestrians.  They irk me when they ride fast and ‘demand’ ‘walkers’ to move to the side for them.  I secretly wish they use the roads.  But when I’m driving on the leftmost lane, I would wish for them not to be there.  Where do they go then?  Children cycling in the shared space within the few blocks of flats at my place sometimes go too fast, disregarding the safety of children and old folks walking on the paths they choose to cycle on.  What are their parents doing?

The other week when they were having the four-day marking-day break, I was on the road in the neighbourhood when I came across a group of four Malay boys cycling without putting helmets on.  They spread out along the left-most lane, racing each other and joking at the same time.  When they noticed that I was approaching them, they went back to the side slowly, still joking and laughing.  That brought me to ask where they should be…

A scare, all thanks to Rachel...

"Felix!  Did you put something in your sister's nose?" Yen stormed into the room where Felix was sound asleep, taking his nap.  I had put him to bed and had fell asleep beside him too.  I checked with Yen what the matter was.  She told me that Rachel had got up from her nap, went to use the washroom and had taken this chance to tell Yen that there was something stuck in her nose.  I rose and dashed to the living room where Rachel was waiting.  I took a look into her right nostril which she claimed there was a foreign object in but I could not see anything...

Yen came along and said there could have been something as the children were playing with some beads used to string bracelets / anklets earlier.  How could the children!...  She brought a torchlight along and took over examining Rachel.  "Yes...  I can see it...  something blue..."  I could not see it!  Was it really inside?

Yen told Rachel to blow her nose hard in an attempt to "spit" the object out from her nostril, but Rachel just could not get it out after a few tries.  I decided we had to visit the doctor to extradicate the foreign object.  As we were getting ready to make our move, the skies blackened and rain looked imminent.

In the car, Yen decided to try bringing her to a General Practioner first.  That was what we did.  Rachel did not seem to realise the gravity of the issue on the way there as she was still humming a little tune!  Yen was trying her hardest not to laugh at the funny situation we were in.  I was mad.  Mad at Rachel for doing something that silly.  Grrrr...

Waited for our turn, which came soon.  Explained to the GP the issue and he told Rachel to try blowing her nose.  "It won't work," I thought.  "Hnnnggg!" went Rachel.  Click!  Click...  it shot out and bounced a fell times on the tiled-floor!  Hallelujah!

We really have to watch over our children more carefully.  I had not expected this kind of thing to happen to my own children.  Thankfully, it did not take too much effort to remove it from her.  I cannot imagine what Rachel would have to go through if she had to go to a hospital to try dislodge the foreign body...  A lesson learnt, for her and for us...

I want some chicken tonight!

"I want some chicken tonight..." Does this song from a particular advertisement years ago sound familiar to your?  Yes?  If so, you are at least my age, or beyond!  =P

I had always wanted to learn how to cook a proper meal for my family.  However, my successes at the moment are limited to your usual instant noodles (praise the Lord for this invention!), hard-boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, instant noodles with egg, etc.

I happened to be browsing in Lot 1 in Choa Chu Kang this morning and saw cook books.  Since I was thinking of trying my hand at cooking in a big way next month, I thought, "Why not today?"  I looked for a suitable cook book and decided that soups may be the best option at this time.  I bought a book with English and Chinese instructions so that I could always turn to my mother for help in times of need.  Wise move!



Went home.  I had wanted to check what ingredients were needed so that I can start brewing soup tomorrow afternoon after work.  I looked through the cook book.  Then, looked at my mother.  "Do we have ingredients for this one?"  I checked.

"I think we have them..." she replied wistfully.  BINGO!  Today's the day then, since I work at 7.45pm and my Rachel cannot leave school-house before 5pm due to this Mandarin-enrichment programme we had elected for her to take up.  There we go...

Weighed out the herb / ingredients and placed them in a big bowl.  Simple enough.  Next was the chicken.  I had to 'tear' its skin off.  That was hard.  Given the slippery conditions it was in, the few pieces of chicken drumstick gave me a run for my money.  I had to 'man-handled' them...  Skin finally off.  Check cook book. "Boil water and scald chicken," it read.  'Scald' chicken??!?

After explanation from the expert, I understood that it was to remove excess oil and dirt in the chicken.  It was not difficult.  Washed the chicken, boiled more water and slipped the ingredients into the pot.  Water was boiled, simmer for twenty minutes, and now it is in the slow cooker...

It smells fine.  At least to me.  Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, they say.  Or the cook, in this case.  Will have to await my main customers to return from work and play to give me the verdict.  I hope I'll pass the test??  Ha...

Creating a Time Capsule =)

Caught in the hustle and bustle of life, we normally do not have time or energy meet our friends and talk to them at length, to find out what is happening in their lives, know their friends, share experiences and moments with many people.  Enter Internet and Facebook.  Depending on the privacy level you set to your profile and amount of information / photographs / vidoes you input, friends have a chance to have an idea on your life and it's happenings.  It is all thanks to these amazing mediums that we can know more about people who we want to stay connected in our lives.

It is through Facebook that I was browsing through some entries of people whom I know.  Shoutouts about life.  Grin.  New born baby.  Smile.  What are these?  Photographs capturing an ex-student by her mother.  Wow!

The photographs show Andrea and her sister opening up a "Time Capsule" - this one is a simple shoe box with items placed in it from a couple of years ago when she was in the early stage of her primary school life.  Great memories for her, they must be.  Great idea!  I can do the same for my children!  I can just envisage the joy they will have years later when they open their own capsules up when they are ten or twenty-one!  No, wait!  It is going to be much more meaningful if they open their own up during their wedding ceremony!  Ha!  Idea is set.  First, let me research a little on the topic...

Wikipedia offers a wealth of information.  A search on the website say "A time capsule is a historic cache of goods and/or information, usually intended as a method of communication with future people and to help future archaeologists, anthropologists, and/or historians. Time capsules are sometimes created and buried during celebrations such as a World Fair, a cornerstone laying for a building, or at other events."

A big mouthful.  Another website suggests that I consider using a sturdy box as the capsule.  Good idea!  I definitely do not need the things in them crushed on the day they open the capsule!  It further recommends keeping some form of note in them and to set a 'unveiling date'.  Need to think about it!  No food, drinks or liquids!  Check!

Now, it is back to the drawing board to decide what items to include in the capsule.  I'll have a think about it.  Any suggestions, friends?

Piang!

It was just another usual morning for us this morning.  Woke up and rushed to get Rachel and Felix for play-school as Yen needs to report for work before eight in the morning.  Yen prefers to reach 'office' as early as she can to get the day's preparations underway.  My elder princess and prince were reluctant to get up and whined a little, as of any other morning.

I was driving on the Ayer Rajah Expressway (AYE) towards city.  We had just got on the expressway not long and were having a little banter in the car.  PIANG!  Out of the blue, the sound could be heard on the window on the driver's side.  I was quite sure that I had not hit anything on the right-most lane of the road.  The window shattered, but luckily for us, it held up.

I stopped the car on the road shoulder.  I did not dare open my side of the door, lest the glass shattered onto the seats.  Yen suggested that I called for a tow-truck, but I felt there was no need, as long as the window held up on the way.  So we continued driving to SGH.  Yen left us and I had breakfast of bread with the children.  They did not seem too affected by the events of the morning too much.  Perhaps they are too young to understand what was actually going on!

I left them and decided to drive to a workshop that I had been to before in Pandan Loop.  When I reached the workshop (it was not easy to drive when I could not see my side of the mirror!), I was pleasantly surprised that it had opened for work and I sent it in.  I was told that it was probably the work of some stone that flew against the car and shattered the window.  I could collect the car later this late afternoon and the cost of repairs would be borne by the insurance company...

It is inconvenient, but we are lucky that everyone in the car was safe.  I live to write about this little scare...  =)

Life as it is... an introduction to my blog

With more time on hand now that I have left my previous employer, and the fact that I am handling things with my new job a little better, I begin my newest foray into blogging.  I like to write.  Write about life.  About things happening around me.  About people, work, my children, lessons learnt, interesting things, almost everything.  I draw a line, however, at things that are touché.  I do not write about RWS.  Resorts World Singapore??  No, I mean Religion, Wars and Sex.  I try not to stick my nose in these topics - they are too 'exciting' for me.  Ha.  Neither will I use this as a platform to complain about people, to discredit people.  If people mean enough for me to dislike them to the core, rest assured I would walk up to them to give them a piece of my mind.

Just a quick round-up about my life thus far...  Born to a family of my late-father of a shipyard worker (PSA) and mother who used to work for a second-hand car dealer as a clerical assistant.  Have a great younger brother who managed to find his own two-feet without a lot of guidance from me.  My late maternal-grandmother was our main caregiver until her passing away in our primary school lives.  I graduated from Nan Hua Primary School and Commonwealth Secondary School.  I would like to think that I must have been able to do better had I taken studies more seriously in those years.

Took on a course of Diploma in Computer Information Systems (JSIST, now defunct) in Singapore Polytechnic.  Took on my first full-time job with the Singapore Armed Forces (Army) and learnt a lot there.  I cannot forget to mention the many nice people whom I had the honour of working for / with during my long stint there.  Swapped ministries in 1995 and went into teaching.  Took on a course to train to be a Physical Education teacher.  This was not my initial choice but I did what I could to the best of abilities in the circumstances I was in.

I left teaching after three years in Zhangde Primary School.  Again, I got to work with some wonderful individuals in those years during training in Physical Education Sports Science (PESS), National Institute of Education (NIE) and the school.  Am currently much happier working in a tuition centre called MindStretcher, in a couple of branches, to continue fuelling my passion of teaching.

On the home front, I got married to the woman of my dreams, Choon Yen, in 2005 after meeting and getting to know her a year earlier - all thanks to NDP 2004.  She has given us three beautiful children, Rachel, Felix and Kayleen - the centres of our lives now.

I had intended to keep this short, but it somehow still found itself this long!  We'll see how long this blog keeps going, with or without (hopefully 'with'!) readership!  =)