Is this the best for them?

I think I thoroughly understand parents of my students now, when they receive telephone calls from their child's school.  Nine times out of ten, their child would have erred in some way.  The remaining time would be a toss up between the child falling ill or injuring him or herself.  I cannot 'escape' from my children's teachers when I fetch them from play-school almost daily and had an interesting discussion with Felix's teacher recently...

"Felix is getting my reassurance for almost every single detail in his work in Art.  I don't expect that of him," she began.  Felix's teacher explained that Felix is considered 'ahead' of children in his class in his learning and one of the few who could be left alone in his work after the initial instructions are given.  The teacher can then concentrate on his classmates who do not comprehend her or are unable to accomplish their work as they need help in reading or writing.  This is the second time that she had let me in, that Felix had been running to her to ask the simpliest of questions (e.g. "Can I draw a cat?", "Which colour should I use?", etc.) and staring blankly after getting back to his seat.

The first time we spoke about this a couple of months ago, she had felt that the Art enrichment lesson Felix is attending on Sunday, whereby he does only painting with a teacher's instruction and much help in touching up, is not beneficial in his creativity and cognition.  I had felt that way earlier but had allowed him to carry on with Yen's reasoning, that the lesson kept Felix occupied while Rachel is having ballet.  Moreover, Felix enjoys the lessons too.

Following my initial conversation with Felix's teacher, the Art lesson taught Felix more things apart from painting - they involved him in making imprints of things of different textures too.  At that time, Yen told me that she had just paid up a few month's fees upfront and I left it at that.

Another conspiracy theory would be that Felix was trying to get the teacher's attention.  He might have noticed how his classmates had got teachers' attention when they did not know how things were done, and he clamoured for attention too.  Or perhaps he was 'pushing his luck' to see how much he could get away with.

I had reflected to Felix's teacher that he was not displaying that kind of behaviour at home.  I was waiting for her to give me some suggestions at what she felt I could try out.  But perhaps I was too hopeful.  She went on during that discussion, stating that Felix was top in his class for reading (my teaching and the phonics lesson he attends had helped) and word recognition.  However, when his classmates go to him to ask him if he knew how to spell a word that he had spelt correctly in front of the class for the teacher previously, Felix would shy away and say that he forgot.  The teacher was not sure if he was trying his best, or was he being pressurised not to be 'smarty-pants' in front of his friends, to avoid being shunned by them?

You see, Felix is good at reading and remembering words in the English language.  When I teach Rachel and Felix together, Felix is almost always the quicker one to get the spelling of words, and he would remember them better.  Rachel, on the other hand, is much stronger in numbers.  Felix has developed this keen interest in reading, although I am not very sure he comprehends what he reads.

Felix's teacher continued to say that not all parents of the children in her class spend as much time teaching early reading to their own children.  Tired from the day's work, parents were probably leaving this job to the children's teachers.  She also explained that my children could feel that they knew all that their teacher was teaching in play-school, resulting in them not paying attention in class later.  The discussion we had brought no conclusion, but left some questions in my head.

Am I wrong in teaching my children what they could know?  Am I pushing them too hard??  I have my own brand of thinking.  The discussion with Felix's teacher left me some reason to examine what I had believed was the best for my children again...

Falling ill

I returned home from my almost-daily trip to Singapore General Hospital to send Yen to work and our children to their play-school - The Little Skool House on Tuesday to find Rachel pale and shivering.  You see, she was ill on Monday night, running a temperature.  My mother was beside her, getting her to go under the blanket.

I took over and got her to her room for a rest under covers.  When she got better, I took her into the bathtub for a dip in the water in an attempt to lower her temperature.  It was then that I found her a tad too long for the bath tub - I could hardly fit her in!  (When was the last time she used the bath tub?  When she was three?)  Colour returned to her cheeks and soon, she was her normal, chattering self.

She got better that day but her temperature fluctuated that night and she could not return to school the next day.  As always, she seemed to get better miraculously when I was around and was able to learn some things together with me.  (Perhaps I scare the illness away when I'm by her side?!)

When will our children stop falling ill?  Just before Rachel fell sick, it was Kayleen over the weekend.  She, too, succumbed to fever and could not join her siblings on their ritual Saturday and Sunday extra lessons.

The second night, Yen deemed her fit for school.  Unfortunately, Felix decided to try out what it was like at home with Daddy.  Sigh.  Another couple of days away from my marking at home!  Then again, I took on my current job as a tuition teacher so that I can respond to emergencies like these for the children.  So, no complains.

Felix took on the same pattern - he was well when I was with him at home.  However, his illness wuld take a dive during the night.  He somehow got better in the morning on Friday so that we could go to National Eye Centre for his routine checkup on his eyes.  No problem there.  We even got to the Academy of Rock in Holland Village as I had promised him to try for a second time if he could begin taking drum lessons.

This year has not been a good year for our children in terms of health.  They have contracted the chickenpox earlier and have had their fair share of fevers, coughs and colds.  I just keep my fingers crossed that the dreaded HFMD will not want to knock on our doors again,  Our precious trio have suffered enough this year, at least!

Parenthood - A job that we cannot refuse

Browsing through the many photographs friends had posted on Facebook brought wide smiles on my face.  They all had one thing in common - the photographs in question were taken of their children, with or without my friends in them.  I stumbled on one of this friend who had almost taken his own life earlier due to some personal problems.  How life would have been different for this friend if he had succeeded at taking his own life?  Is he be looking at his child now, thinking how lucky he is to be still alive, watching his child grow?

Everytime I think about our precious children, I thank the Lord that He has given them to us.  I had got married with Yen and decided to assume the role of parents early in our marriage.  We are now blessed with three healthy children.  However, life is not a bed of roses.  We have our share of woes and heartaches with our trio.  They are imperfect.  Far from it, to be exact:

Rachel has yet to understand that as the eldest child in our family, she has responsibilities.  She would whine about aches (real or imaginary?) almost every morning while having breakfast on the way to play-school in the morning and still thinks of herself first in many scenarios.

Felix is still maturing, and his tantrums belie his physical age.  He wants to be the first to enter the lift so that he can take the reins and press the lift buttons inside.  He cries, almost uncontrollably, at every little problem or pain that stands in his way.

Kayleen is still undergoing his terrible-twos (will it ever end??).  This little belle wants everything her way: Her siblings cannot sing-along to songs that she sings to (they 'copy' her), eat things that she wants, and frowns at every tiny thing that is against her wishes.

We are not born to be parents, too.  I am still learning as I go along.  However, unlike other jobs that I have (or have had), this is not one that I can (or will) shirk.  I cannot call it quits.  I cannot call for time out and take leave.  These jewels we have are ours, our responsibility.  We brought them into this world, and we jolly well make sure that we teach them as much as we know and provide the best that we can for.  In fact, I will be extremely glad if they outdo this 'nobody' of a father!

I need not leave behind any legacy in work.  I dare not think about leaving behind millions of dollars to help them sail through life in a world of luxury.  But I know I will try my best to ingrain and instil in them good values so that they will grow up and be good, responsible people they ought to be and live lives where they leave nothing to regret about...  =)