Woke up to Felix's and Kayleen's cries in the wee hours of the morning. Yen was already beside them when I went into their room but to no avail. I took over to give her a rest since she needed to work today. Both children were visibly tired and still sleepy. Felix was easier to put back to sleep while Kayleen drifted in and out of sleep for some time still.
Kayleen continued to hug my right thigh (it was closer to her). That seemed to help as she slowly fell asleep. I continued to pat her while trying to remove my leg from her grasp but that proved fruitless - it caused her to stir a few times, only to return to grip my thigh tighter the next time. While soothing Kayleen into dreamland, I suddenly had the strong urge to write a poem; to try put some events onto paper. Finally did so this morning when I had some time alone. So here it goes:
HOW MUCH LONGER WILL IT BE?
How much longer will it be
That you call for no one else but me?
In the deep of the night you weep
With tears streaming down your cheeks
How much longer will it be
That you cling on to my legs tightly?
When I try to turn and leave
Your arms hold me, so instinctively
How much longer will it be
You jump up and down excitedly?
"That's my Daddy!" you announce with glee
To all your friends oh so proudly
How much longer will it be
That you listen attentively?
To my reasoning and teaching
Especially so to fun stories
Deep down, I know, it won't be long
A matter of time you're on your own
But this voice from me you'll hear strong
That "Daddy is here, no matter how long"
Ryan, 29 Nov 11
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Disciplining children
Parents take on roles of an 'angel' and a 'devil' when it comes to disciplining their children. Fathers, almost always, take on the latter. Perhaps it is stereo-typing; perhaps it is so as we are the 'stronger' of the two; perhaps mothers are just too loving and cannot to admonish or punish them.
It is no different when it comes to our family. I am the disciplinarian to our children. Their father is the one that gives them the 'look' that they have done something disapproving. An advocate to the old adage 'Spare the rod and spoil the child', I harden my heart when I need to give them a spanking.
Spanking came a little quicker in the past. When I was still working in a school, I had little rest; no thanks to my waking up at unearthly hours to mark my students' work. That meant that I woke up at three and felt tired as early as seven or eight at night, almost straight after dinner. When my own precious trio threw tantrums, I would get so frustrated when I tended to them and my hand shot out almost instinctively in a bid to resolve things. I knew, deep down, that it was not right and definitely unfair to them. That was one of the contributing factors to my leaving my job then. But that is another story.
I have read and enlightened that scolding or hitting should not happen in anger. That could just mean that children suffer a beating without knowing why they were subject to such treatment, or worse, that the person who dealt the beating might have been so angry that the hitting would be harder than intended, leading to an unfortunate injury.
Rather, we should decided what actions by our tots deserve such a punishment. We should also always explain to our children where they had done wrong and what options could have been taken. Hitting does not mean hurting the child bad. It could be a hard enough spank on the palm. Sure, my children cry after they had received spanks on their palms - not because it hurt them bad physically, but also because they understand that they have erred and it struck them in the heart.
So the next time should you decide to hit your children, count to ten and think if you might do something that you might regret later...
It is no different when it comes to our family. I am the disciplinarian to our children. Their father is the one that gives them the 'look' that they have done something disapproving. An advocate to the old adage 'Spare the rod and spoil the child', I harden my heart when I need to give them a spanking.
Spanking came a little quicker in the past. When I was still working in a school, I had little rest; no thanks to my waking up at unearthly hours to mark my students' work. That meant that I woke up at three and felt tired as early as seven or eight at night, almost straight after dinner. When my own precious trio threw tantrums, I would get so frustrated when I tended to them and my hand shot out almost instinctively in a bid to resolve things. I knew, deep down, that it was not right and definitely unfair to them. That was one of the contributing factors to my leaving my job then. But that is another story.
I have read and enlightened that scolding or hitting should not happen in anger. That could just mean that children suffer a beating without knowing why they were subject to such treatment, or worse, that the person who dealt the beating might have been so angry that the hitting would be harder than intended, leading to an unfortunate injury.
Rather, we should decided what actions by our tots deserve such a punishment. We should also always explain to our children where they had done wrong and what options could have been taken. Hitting does not mean hurting the child bad. It could be a hard enough spank on the palm. Sure, my children cry after they had received spanks on their palms - not because it hurt them bad physically, but also because they understand that they have erred and it struck them in the heart.
So the next time should you decide to hit your children, count to ten and think if you might do something that you might regret later...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
What can I do with my children?
I have always believed in spending time with our children meaningfully. That is one of the chief reasons why I had left my previous job. What can we, as parents, do with them then? Tons of things! Though our energy levels are dipping with the gradual scaling of our ages, we can pick things that require us less energy to do with our little tots.
One of those that I tried over the past few days was drawing. Now, I am not much of an artist myself, to begin with. But we can have fun drawing, I thought. Our children (especially Rachel) had been drawing in play-school. Our elder girl has been expressing herself rather well with pictures but our boy seemed to be having some trouble with pictures.
I had picked up this book on 'Cartoon drawing for kids' earlier and bought it for spending time together with our jewels. That night, I took out a drawing block and got the elder two to sit with me. Kayleen, unfortunately, is a little too young for such an activity and this will have to be redone with her later.
I told Rachel and Felix that we were learning how to draw. I showed them how to imitate drawings we selected from the book and talked them through, step-by-step, to getting the drawings done. The first one was of a hippopotamus.
The duo enjoyed the whole process and we moved on to two other pictures - one of a man and another of a lion. At the end of it, they were told how nicely they have done and how cute the pictures were. They, too, were happy with their drawings. Rachel said that she remembered how to draw the 'hippo' and would bring this new found knowledge to play-school the next day. We totally enjoyed this short activity we had together.
Their drawings might have been much improvised from the ones in the book, but we spent time together and I gave them an idea of how drawings can go. In my eyes, their little pictures are the most adorable ones my children had proudly produced that night.
One of those that I tried over the past few days was drawing. Now, I am not much of an artist myself, to begin with. But we can have fun drawing, I thought. Our children (especially Rachel) had been drawing in play-school. Our elder girl has been expressing herself rather well with pictures but our boy seemed to be having some trouble with pictures.
I had picked up this book on 'Cartoon drawing for kids' earlier and bought it for spending time together with our jewels. That night, I took out a drawing block and got the elder two to sit with me. Kayleen, unfortunately, is a little too young for such an activity and this will have to be redone with her later.
I told Rachel and Felix that we were learning how to draw. I showed them how to imitate drawings we selected from the book and talked them through, step-by-step, to getting the drawings done. The first one was of a hippopotamus.
 |
| Rachel is taking an example of the book's and my drawing |
The duo enjoyed the whole process and we moved on to two other pictures - one of a man and another of a lion. At the end of it, they were told how nicely they have done and how cute the pictures were. They, too, were happy with their drawings. Rachel said that she remembered how to draw the 'hippo' and would bring this new found knowledge to play-school the next day. We totally enjoyed this short activity we had together.
 |
| Daddy's impression of the old man |
 |
| Felix points to his impression of the same picture |
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| Rachel's drawing of a hippopotamus and Felix's lion |
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Stickers, stickers, everywhere!
Have parents of young children fumed over having stickers pasted all over the place? Most children love colourful stickers of their favourite cartoon characters. Like bees to honey, children of the early ages get attracted to stickers so much that they would not want to let go of these tiny pieces of paper.
Like most parents, I do not want stickers of Pokemon or Mickey Mouse intrude my nicely furnished home. They can stay in the television sets just fine. I refrain from giving my children stickers. I learnt previously from a colleague that we cannot blame children from misusing the gifts we have given them. I mean - how can you punish a child for colouring the textbooks with nice new markers, a Children's Day gift from their beloved teacher?
I know swords never stay in their shelths forever. My trio will be exposed to the wonder of stickers being pasted to things sooner or later. By then, stickers will climb up my walls and furniture, and stake a place in the house until I forcefully remove them.
I always believe education is the key to good behaviour. That is why I had inculcated in my children "Stickers belong to books, not on the walls, nor furniture". My elder two seemed to have learnt well and I was quite glad this had worked. Recently, however, I discovered that I have underestimated Kayleen's innocence before...
"Argh! Why is Stitch here," I enquired in dismay, "and these stars?"
"Kayleen put it there," offered Rachel.
Kayleen gawked at me with big, round eyes. How could I punish her then? She probably had not understood my words! I had to find a solution before it was too late. Rather than stopping their action, their avenue of expressing themselves and perhaps, unleashing their creativity, why don't I let them do so in an appropriate place?
I got them a nice note book/pad. "You may use this as your sticker book," I instructed our trio. Without waiting, they took over the book and started sticking the stickers on its pages.
They were happy that night, crowding around the book sticking stickers.
Give the children an avenue to express themselves. Educate them the rights and the wrongs. Stopping them doing what they like to do may work momentarily, but may not help them understand why they should not do so, and how they can get certain things done.
Like most parents, I do not want stickers of Pokemon or Mickey Mouse intrude my nicely furnished home. They can stay in the television sets just fine. I refrain from giving my children stickers. I learnt previously from a colleague that we cannot blame children from misusing the gifts we have given them. I mean - how can you punish a child for colouring the textbooks with nice new markers, a Children's Day gift from their beloved teacher?
I know swords never stay in their shelths forever. My trio will be exposed to the wonder of stickers being pasted to things sooner or later. By then, stickers will climb up my walls and furniture, and stake a place in the house until I forcefully remove them.
I always believe education is the key to good behaviour. That is why I had inculcated in my children "Stickers belong to books, not on the walls, nor furniture". My elder two seemed to have learnt well and I was quite glad this had worked. Recently, however, I discovered that I have underestimated Kayleen's innocence before...
"Argh! Why is Stitch here," I enquired in dismay, "and these stars?"
"Kayleen put it there," offered Rachel.
Kayleen gawked at me with big, round eyes. How could I punish her then? She probably had not understood my words! I had to find a solution before it was too late. Rather than stopping their action, their avenue of expressing themselves and perhaps, unleashing their creativity, why don't I let them do so in an appropriate place?
I got them a nice note book/pad. "You may use this as your sticker book," I instructed our trio. Without waiting, they took over the book and started sticking the stickers on its pages.
They were happy that night, crowding around the book sticking stickers.
Give the children an avenue to express themselves. Educate them the rights and the wrongs. Stopping them doing what they like to do may work momentarily, but may not help them understand why they should not do so, and how they can get certain things done.
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