A colleague lamented today that she has always bee nneglected as she is the middle-child. "Do you think it is true, since you are a parent?" I did not agree since Felix receives as much attention from us. Perhaps even more than Rachel, as at times, we have the impression that Rachel is much older and is more 'world-wise'. It is probably too early for Felix to tell me if he felt that way, I reckon.
What exactly is the 'middle child syndrome'? I have heard of it but have not paid too much attention to it since I could not imagine being a parent then, especially not to three children! A little research into it from eHow.com said that Alfred Adler believed that the order in which a child is born into a family affected the personality traits of the child due to differing parent attitudes towards oldest, middle and youngest children. Birth order of a child may also affect the child well into adulthood.
In short, they feel that they do not get as much attention from parents about them and their accomplishments; their elder siblings may have 'been there, done that', while the youngest child is normally given more attention due to the perceived 'they cannot handle it as they are younger' thinking from parents.
Possible problems that these bring about include low self-esteem, a rebellious nature, resentment, sibling rivalry, etc. He / She may feel distant to people in relationships and 'left out' at home. Read ways to prevent these from happening - try not taking sides, being fair, not to compare them, be patient to them, etc.
I wonder if Felix will ever feel that way? As parents, Yen and I have to be very much aware of ourselves and what we do with our children, so that they will not feel any difference in our treatment of them among each other. I hope we can really follow what is 'prescribed' in research findings!
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