“Rachel, Felix and Kayleen, you have done very well for your tests in school!” I hope to be able to say this to them when they do attend primary and secondary schools later. A bit too early? I guess. But it’s not too much of me to dream about it and to work us towards it, is it? This goes a long way towards ‘The Good Life’ that many yearn to have, to working in offices and earning respectable incomes, as opposed to toiling under the scorching sun for hard-earned pay?
So, what is really the difference? Is it totally in the genes, that it cannot be helped? Hey, even the poor can turn the tables and become successful business-people given their hard work, intuition and luck, among other things! How can we discover the potential in children, to aid them in knowing more to be successful in life?
First and foremost, let me begin by examining school children. I have seen quite a few of them in these few years. Pupils in the top classes and the better ones in my classes – what do they have that others might not have? Is it riches? I hope not… Is it time? Definitely not! Then what is it? Wait! Most of those in the top classes have people to pick them up after school… and not just domestic helpers who take up the job of fetching them from school! They are in good hands, good company of educated parents.
Is the most distinct and integral difference having parents by their side most steps of their way? I recall those in my classes. I have never been the form-teacher of top classes in the school, perhaps due to the perception that I am not worthy, or the fact that I can only be a subject-teacher and may not be able to bring out the best in the cream-of-the-crop.
But I recall the top students in my classes… they were mostly independent children who can take good care of themselves (who do not spend needless time at the playgrounds or chatting on the Internet at their age), or they had educated parents who were not working, sacrificing time during their children’s schooling years to take care of them. Else, their parents are those who are busy working, but are in their own ways, quite heavily involved in their children's lives.
Did they have tuition? Yes, half of them did. But this does not explain how those who did not have tuition manage to come out tops in their tests. One thing I do observe is that these children were not alienated by their parents (or vice-versa). I could always hear them speaking fondly of their parents during our conversations. About them spending time with them, telling them things, buying things for them… (no, you do not have to be rich to make your child happy!) They are closely bonded. They talk. About schoolwork, their teachers, classmates, subjects, relatives… almost everything and anything under the roof of their scalp!
Why are some of my children’s classmates loquacious and conversant? They are of the same age! What is their secret? Perhaps talk? Maybe their parents have been spending meaningful time talking to them about things, and allowing them to make meaningful responses, apart from reading?
This talk, helps, I think. It helps them in their oral abilities, in their forming of sentences, in their worldly-knowledge (it beats having me explain something to them than to let them go on the Internet and chancing upon unsavoury websites!) and more. Letting them be comfortable speaking to us (parents) cannot be too wrong. They may tell us things that we are worried about (their needs, their wants, and maybe even their crushes!). We can advise them with an open-mind.
Parents can then encourage them to make the right decisions, to pull the reins back if they have veered off-course. I think I may even create scenarios (like they did in some schools) for them to go to a ‘shop-keeper’ to ‘buy’ something! To ask ‘someone’ for directions! That’ll be fun!
So have you been speaking to your child(ren)? I know I am going to start today!
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