"No, Felix, Daddy needs to work tonight," I replied, surprised at his question. Why did he ask? I did not have to wait long for an answer.
"Huh... but you haven't been spending time with us..." the visibly disappointed boy curled up in the backseat of our family vehicle, and pouted.
I stopped to think. Was what he said true? Sure, I am actually at work three out of the five weekday nights. Add on the private tuition student I have, that meant another night away on one of my two free days. Yen has consistently helped remind me of my absence from home at night when I get requests for new assignments.
Reality check. I left MOE a little more than a year ago so that I could spend more time with my family. I had wanted to be a bigger part of my children's lives, to play a better role of father than I had been playing. One year on - has things changed? Sure, I have more time on my hands and I manage my time more flexibly. The dough that I bring home is equal, if not more, than what I draw as a civil servant with the MOE for most months. I lose out on the perks, including the thirteenth month bonus and medical benefits, I had used to enjoy as a teacher in school. But I wonder - is that time spent with my family fruitfully??
On weekdays when I am not teaching in school (as I had done previously), our children are 'parked' in play-school so that we can get other things done. I mark my students' work and get miscellaneous chores done. I leave home to fetch them at four-thirty or so, hopefully picking Yen up together and going home. Most times, I scoot off to work after dropping them at home. By the time I reach home, they are in bed mostly, getting ready to bed. I will be the one to hush them and soothe them into dreamland.
On weekend days, I work from 9am to 1-plus in the afternoon. On Saturdays, I rush home so put them into their afternoon nap, and send them to swimming class with Yen in the late afternoon. We will have a simple dinner together most Saturday nights. On Sundays, I meet Yen and our children for lunch and see the elder two into phonics class. We will proceed home for their nap and end the day with simple dinners usually, all tired out by how fast the weeks pass us by.
I find pockets of time I can to play simple games with our prince and princesses. I take them on outtings on days that they do not have to attend school or extra programmes. I try to capture as many memories of them while they grow up on film (more like jpeg these days). I read with them whenever I can find time. I spend my whole November (when I do not have lessons) with them. I know I have not done enough, but it is much better than previously when I was 'in the system'. I have given whatever spare time I can to my precious wife and children. I long to do better; what choice do we have when we struggle against the day-to-day events and the high cost of living we have here? Sigh.
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