The boy is changing

Felix is experiencing changes.  Sure, one of the first being the change in his place of study.  After going through a less than satisfactory six years and receiving his results of his school-leaving examinations, he knows he could / should have done better.  But he was too proud to admit that to us.  He could only claim tearfully that he tried his best when he was berated harshly by yours truly.

Since then, we have kept to our promise of getting him a mobile phone.  Our reason of holding back for him was right, I believe, looking at the way he uses his mobile phone on games for the past eight months.  It was, indeed, a bitter pill for him to swallow when his younger sister was entrusted with a mobile phone before he.

But my explanation was simple - Rachel had the first phone as we needed at least one of them to be contactable should I need to notify them of my change in plans due to the fluid nature of my work, and when Rachel graduated from primary school and he was the next in line (by age and order of birth), it was his primary six year and Felix just made me feel that he would not pay enough attention to his school work once he got his phone.  No, not in such an important year for him.

We have also kept our promise not to be hot on his heels when it came to studies and his work in school.  Not only were we unsure of the syllabus and how to help, we also needed extra time to focus our energies on other things.  I would not say that this has turned out to be the best for him - based on the numerous late-submission of work comments on his report book the first six months (and it has been continuing).

I examine ourselves and feel apologetic.  I have not been the most supportive and the person whom they feel most approachable with.  I try, but relations are hard to mend, I need not tell you.  He keeps to himself whenever I ask him for reasons why some things turn out they way they are.  He keeps mum when I ask him about his opinions and feelings.

I have tried to interest him in certain things I do.  Some have been successful - watching football in general and Newcastle United games or highlights, sports clips (NBA, wrestling, etc.), singing / talent shows and some documentaries (CNA documentaries about life around us are good, I found).  Others have been disastrous attempts - asking him to join me for jogs, reading e-books, etc.

My wife has pointed out that his voice is changing.  His voice was higher-pitched when he was younger, but it is deeper now.  And of course, most evidently, he is having pimple-trouble.  So the usual advice of washing his face, keeping his hair off his forehead (he does it to hide / cover his pimples), using the Oxy-cream that I have bought him (against the advice of my wife)...

Sometimes, I feel so irate with him after I had given him a piece of my mind but he still did not buck-up.  I have enlisted the help of a few other closer adults in his life to speak to him - his godfather, his uncle Wilson, his form teacher...  I will have to admit that relations between us are, at times, strained.

Felix is generally still cold to us.  The only times when he come to us warmly are when his phone has been confiscated and he has nothing to do, and when he has requests for us.  He is not one t apologise for the mistake he had made.  I can only hope for things to change for the better as time progresses.  Helpless at times.