If you see someone 'disturbing' a cat in your estate, 'poking' it in the face and body with a long, thin blade of grass, causing the poor cat to jump at the grass everytime and seemingly 'fighting' against it, would you step forward to stop the person? If you see the person in the lift standing by the buttons not holding the door for young children to enter the lift, would you suggest that he does it the next time?
Well, that's just what I did recently. And they are just two examples of 'Mr. Civic-Minded' at work. I frown upon people not holding the door for the person just a step behind. Like a stern discipline master, I lambast those who fight shamelessly for seats in trains and slump straightaway into deep slumber, beating the elderly wearing a whole head of white hair. These are just examples. Of course, when put in those situations, I will be the first to offer assistance.
I engaged in an interesting discussion (it leaned precariously close into an argument) with Yen yesterday. She asked me to 'close an eye to somethings'; to 'live and let live' on things, for the sake of her and our young ones. She explained that it was in case those 'at fault' were to react poorly against me or the situation. I was dumbfounded. Do I turn a blind eye to these?
Yen asked me what I had intended to achieve by pointing out what should be done instead in those situations. Well, to put things right, hopefully, at that time. If not, then the next time such a situation occurs. How? By creating public awareness. By slamming those who do wrong and pressurizing them into doing the right thing. My wife then pointed out that by reacting to those situations, I did not seem that gracious too.
Perhaps. Perhaps by reacting in frustration in the spur of the moment, I, like a man forced to make a decision with a pistol pointed at his temple, could not evaluate what was the best course of action to take. I did not want to lose the opportunity to point out what should have been done. Sigh. Do I just accept things? That some people are just the way they are, that they 'were not taught to be as thoughtful and will have to learn some other way' - as Yen put it? Maybe that is my problem - that I am too much of a busybody?
It's okay to point out to others be gracious, but have no expectations. It's wrong to impose your values onto others. When you burn in anger when that person doesn't "comply," that's self-righteousness. And self-righteousness is equally undesirable too.
ReplyDeleteIt is alright to point out but did it with forgiveness. Get the message across to that person that it is not right but yet I forgive u and hope he/she wun do it again.
ReplyDeleteI did the same things many times. I do not care abt the consequence. That is me.
Ryan, You are not wrong to do those things. What is wrong is that the majority of the people do not do the 'right' thing and take an ultra passive approach that it became the norm.
ReplyDeleteYour actions will be appreciated by those who benefited (etc the cat, little children, their parents) , though they might not express it .
There is more to be developed in this country beside the focus on economical growth. Simply put, Citizenry , civil-mindess and social responsibility need to be improved upon.
Last, i assure you are not a busybody , but take care not to engage in a quarrel who does not take your 'suggestion' well .
yc